beryl

Pleasant Surprise

2009-04-30T18:47:00.004-06:00

Today, I had a very pleasant surprise. I just received a mail from someone really special, someone of great importance. As I stared at the envelope with my name and the name of the sender..my eyes widened, my pulse increased, and I probably blinked my eyes in unbelief. I ran into the house and opened the envelope with a letter opener to preserve the envelope. It was a birthday card..for me!! I wished I can share who it was from, but that's really besides my point..

I feel so so special! I have no doubt that this person has tonnes of other really big and important things to attend to, and yet took time to sign and send me a birthday card!! I never informed him/her my birthday in the first place. I am instantly reminded of how the Psalmist in the Bible felt about God's love and attention for him..

Psalm 8:3-4

When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,

what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

Does it blow your mind (or socks off), that God of the Universe cares for you, loves you, and desires an intimate relationship with you? Has there ever been another so-called 'god' besides this One?

This pleasant elation brings something to mind. This must be (hopefully) how others feel when we take time to send them a little note, or a little card, or a little message to encourage them. Everyone needs encouragement, everyone needs love. This someone made a difference in my life..I can do the same for others. You can too!

p/s: I am grateful to all you friends and family for your love and birthday wishes! :)

Today

2009-04-29T14:05:00.004-06:00

Today, I choose..
to see me myself as my Father does..
to receive His grace and forgiveness for my shortcomings..
to live with no regrets because He holds my future..
to allow Him to mould me..
to avail myself to God as a vessel to bless others..
to willingly obey His guidance and direction..
to love others when I want to love myself first..
to die to self even when it hurts..
..to fully trust in Jesus.

The Call of God

2009-03-02T23:03:00.001-06:00

Here's a paper I wrote for the only religion class I'm required to take at DBU. I thought this would serve as a good reminder and perhaps a food-for-thought for the day for all of us..

Blessings!
Berylynn

Moses is a well known leader in the Bible who was radically called by God to deliver Israel from the bondage in Egypt. There are many things that can be observed and learnt from the way he experienced the call of God in his life.

Although Moses was a Hebrew, he grew up as the adopted son of Pharaoh’s daughter. As a Hebrew himself, he must have grown up watching his own people suffer from the mistreatment of the Egyptians. I believe that Moses already possessed an internal growing passion and burden to deliver his people from tyranny of the Egyptians way before the Lord spoke to Him through the burning bush. So strong was his passion to liberate his people that when “he saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his brethren” (New King James Version, Exod. 2.11), “he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand” (Exod. 2.12). According to Alice Cullinan in “Sorting It Out”, “God made us and often works with our interests and abilities to accomplish divine purposes through us” (32). The call of God for Moses that came later in his life resonates well in perfect harmony within him because of his personal interest for the well being of the Hebrews.

However, it is necessary to note that Moses was in a little hurry to accomplish the will of God in his life. Moses tried to rescue a fellow Hebrew by his own initiative and strength which led to a terrible disaster. Moses was not patient in waiting for the specific word from God before he stepped into this divine task and calling. As a result, Moses murdered an Egyptian and spent the next forty years of his life a fugitive in the desert. We can clearly see from Moses’ life that “running ahead of God may be as disastrous as not seeking God’s will in the first place” (40).

Although the forty long years that Moses spent tending the flock of Jethro—his father-in-law in the desert—may seem like a total waste, nothing is ever a waste from God’s perspective. God is a specialist when it comes to making “all things work together for the good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8.28). As humbling as it is for Moses to transition from being an Egyptian prince to becoming a simple and unknown shepherd, I believe that his character was shaped and he was taught to wait upon the Lord and His perfect timing for the call. It is through this desert experience that the Lord prepared Moses for his ultimate destiny in leading the Israelites out of bondage and into freedom. God is good in that He shaped Moses’ character and humility before using him in the mighty deliverance that displayed some of the greatest signs and wonders recorded in the Bible. His strength of character and heart condition were God’s top concerns, rather than the mission itself.

As Moses was tending the flock at the mountain of God, God suddenly appeared to him in a burning bush that was not consumed. When Moses turned to examine the burning bush, God called to him from the midst of the bush and said, “Moses, Moses!”. Consequently, God revealed Himself and the call that He had for Moses to deliver the Israelites out of Egypt into the Promised Land. Although the call may seem like a sudden one, God had already been gradually calling and preparing Moses’ heart prior to this significant moment. With the sure word from the Lord and a great task at hand, Moses still wavered with doubt concerning his identity and capability. The Lord was once again gracious with Moses’ apprehension and provided him with confirmation signs of the rod and the leprous hand to assure Moses of His call. God also promised to strike Egypt with great wonders and allowed Aaron to be Moses’ spokesman.

Cullinan is absolutely accurate when she says that “God will give you what you need to carry out the divine calling” (39). God indeed prepared, called, confirmed, and equipped Moses for his great calling and destiny which marked a significant milestone in biblical history. Had Moses not heeded God’s calling on His life, our Christian history and heritage would have been a little different today.

Writer's Block

2009-02-22T00:29:00.003-06:00

Sigh..so here I am at 12.30am. I am so frustrated! I've spent the whole day trying to write a Research Paper for my English class but nothing seem to work. It may be that I'm a perfectionist, but I think that's not it. Either writing is just not my strength or today is just a very bad day for me. I'm just not gaining any ground in this paper.

So..my beloved hubby suggested that I take a break or maybe go for a little walk. Uhm..but it's really cold outside so I think I'll pass on that one. Maybe some ice cream might help! Ahh..I'm actually just venting here and trying to console myself here.

To change the topic a little bit, we've been listening to this new CD by Darrell Evans titled "Shade". It's amazing! It's totally Thomas's and my kind of worship music. It's very acoustic, very intimate..definitely a very good CD!

Since we started listening to his songs, I've picked up the guitar once again. It's been a long while since I played, so I've forgotten most of what I've learnt in guitar class years ago. Yikes! Sigh..

Alright, I think that's all for this post. Hopefully I'll write in here more often eh?

Malaysia's Anwar promises to dump pro-Malay policies

2008-09-05T10:44:00.000-06:00

Malaysia's Anwar promises to dump pro-Malay policies

Agence France-Presse - 9/2/2008 8:29 AM GMT

Malaysian opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim said Tuesday he would dismantle controversial positive-discrimination policies for Muslim Malays if he seizes power in the multicultural country.

Anwar said he would replace the New Economic Policy (NEP) launched in the early 1970s with a system to boost all poor Malaysians, whether they are majority Malays or from the minority Chinese and Indian communities.

"We will do everything in our power and disposal to help and assist the poor and the marginalised, which means the vast majority of the Malays and the poor Chinese and the poor Indians, but we do it on a needs basis," he said.

He also promised to abandon the Approved Permits (AP) scheme for importing cars, which it is claimed has corruptly enriched a small number of Malay entrepreneurs.

"Those talking about Malay dominance would realise that the AP is a classic case where the Malays and the Malay name has been abused, raped and plundered by the few," he told a press conference.

Anwar, a former deputy premier and finance minister who was sacked and jailed a decade ago, has vowed to topple the government with the help of defectors within weeks.

He accused embattled Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi of spending his way out of trouble with a 2009 budget packed with perks and tax cuts, and said if he comes to power he would reduce the projected 2008 budget deficit of 4.8 percent of GDP.

"I suspect Abdullah feels that his days are numbered, so he spends as much as possible because he knows the next government has got to deal with the debts," he said.

The NEP was launched two years after racial riots broke out in 1969, in an effort to narrow the wealth gap between the Chinese -- who control the business sector -- and Malays, who dominate government.

But critics say it has failed and that the policy's beneficiaries have been Malay entrepreneurs who cash in on an array of perks including discounts on property purchases and specially allocated government projects.

Anwar's opposition gained unprecedented ground against the ruling Barisan Nasional coalition in March general elections, after successfully garnering support from across Malaysia's racial spectrum.

The 61-year-old opposition leader -- himself a Malay -- has also had to defend himself against allegations he has sold out the interests of the majority community in return for political gains.

A Soul Has No Color

2008-08-07T17:16:00.003-06:00

I've started work at DBU International Admissions & Recruitment Office for close to 4 weeks already. Today, we had a prayer meeting for the Nations! A lot of the student workers here represent many of the different countries in the world such as Korea, Jamaica, India, Botswana, China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Saudi Arabia, Japan..and the list goes on. We had the privilege of praying for the new incoming students who will be here for Fall. It was an amazing time...

God is beginning to break my heart again for the nations, for the people that haven't heard of Him, for the people that need Him so much. How will they call on Someone they have not believed? How can they believe if they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As it is written: "How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace, who bring glad tidings of good things."

This post is rather sketchy, raw and un-edited..it's really just a glimpse of the many things going through my mind and heart. People need the Lord, after all..God loves everyone the same..and.."A Soul Has No Color."

Cite Soleil = Sun City??

2008-04-06T22:20:00.000-06:00

Here's a post i wrote in August last year! I finally finished it and here it is..finally. Yikes!

I was reading up about this place called Cite Soleil yesterday on wikipedia..and my discoveries appaled me. It struck a chord in me..yet i don't know how to help. I've never heard of this place before until yesterday..and this are bits of what i read.

Cite Soleil means "Sun City" in English, but it sure doesn't look or feel sunny to me. It is one of Haiti's poorest, roughest, and most dangerous areas.

The shantytown was originally designated to house manual labourers but with its extreme poverty, persistent unemployment, high rates of illiteracy, the unsanitary conditions due to the absence of public services, and rampant crime and uncontrolled violence, it has become a microcosm of Haiti's problems as a whole.

Not only is Cité-Soleil the poorest area of the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere it is also becoming one of the most dangerous as armed gangs roam the streets. Murder, rape, kidnapping, pillage, and shootings are common as every few blocks is controlled by a rival armed faction, such factions said to number over thirty-two.

Most of the residents of Cité-Soleil are children or young adults. Few live past the age of fifty; they die from disease, including AIDS, or violence. Since December 2006, UN Peacekeepers and Haitian National Police have been involved in intense operations and frequent gunbattles with armed gangs, resulting in the deaths of 30 people, including 20 gang members. A total of two UN soldiers and ten policemen have died and ten have been wounded.

There's more written about Cite Soleil..but i think picture speaks louder than words..

I was pondering on how a country can come to this devastating stage, and then I remembered a conversation Thomas and I had with a friend from Jamaica. Worrell told us that Haiti is one of the countries with most witchcraft activities. The leadership of the country have basically given the country over to the devil. Many people are involved in witchcraft, vodoo and demonic activities. And the result is clearly seen today..take a look at a country that have given their souls to the devil.

Hmm..

Gloomy Shopper Alert

2008-02-09T23:30:00.001-06:00

An interesting article i read. So watch out..Gloomy Shopper Alert! :)

Sad and introspective? Don't go shopping!
Agence France-Presse - 2/8/2008 2:56 PM

Glum shoppers hoping to boost their self-esteem with a bout of 'retail therapy' will spend more for the same item and come to regret the purchase, a new study showed Friday.

According to a study released at the annual meeting of the Society for Social and Personality Psychology, inward-looking people who are down in the dumps tend to spend more money on the same item than their neutral-emotion counterparts.

Earlier studies have drawn a link between mood and spending habits, but this one highlighted the key role played by how self-focussed a person is.

"It is the combination of sadness and self-focus that drives the effect, and it turns out that sadness leads to an increase in self-focus," said Cynthia Cryder, a doctoral student at Carnegie Mellon University and one of the co-authors of the study.

"What we think is going on is that sad and self-focussed people are feeling pretty bad about themselves and have a decreased valuation of themselves. They want to enhance this valuation, and one way to do this is by acquiring material goods," she said.

Placing a higher value on those goods could be an attempt by the sad, self-focussed person to boost their self-esteem by transferring the value of the item to themself.

The big problem is, the purchase is often regretted later.

"A huge key to avoiding decision-effects like this is being aware that you're sad in the first place. But that's rather hard to do," Cryder said.

"Participants in studies such as ours usually have no idea that their feelings influence their decisions, so it's impossible to correct," she said.

"Secondly, always re-evaluate major purchases one day or one week after you make them so that you can make sure that whatever you bought is still attractive to you," Cryder said.

"That lowers the probability that you'll have an over-priced mistake due to some fleeting influence that you didn't know about and still don't know about. You just know, 'Wow... why did I pay so much for that?'"

You are God alone

2008-02-07T23:34:00.000-06:00

My latest favorite song by Philips, Craig and Dean!

You are not a god
Created by human hands
You are not a god
Dependant on any mortal man
You are not a god
In need of anything we can give
By Your plan, that’s just the way it is

[chorus]
You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
Your are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone

You’re the only God
Whose power none can contend
You’re the only God
Whose name and praise will never end
You’re the only God
Who’s worthy of everything we can give
You are God
And that’s just the way it is

[chorus]

[bridge]
Unchangeable
Unshakable
Unstoppable
That’s what You are

Staff Day Picture Competition

2007-11-27T18:22:00.000-06:00

We had our staff day earlier this month. We as Trinity Church staff (which I am priviledged to be a part of) take a day off once every quarter and do something fun for the whole day. One of the things we did the past Staff Day was visiting the Dallas Arboretum. In spring time, there are prettier flowers. Since we went in the Fall, there weren't much flowers to see.

We were divided into a few teams and we were supposed to take 3 most creative pictures that we can think of. So here are the products of my creative team: Jeremy(the accountant), Cristyn(Member Services Team), Melody(Children Ministry Team) and me!

I really really really think we have the best pictures. I will try to post some from the other teams later..but here are the winning ones! =) Results, not announced yet. We will find out in our next staff party-Christmas/ Thanksgiving party!

"We are the champions..my friend!" hahahaaaa

Cat Adventure!!

2007-11-25T23:58:00.003-06:00

Today, we had quite an adventure. This is our last weekend in Matt and Sako's residence-housesitting for them while they are away in Japan! We were about to walk out the frontdoor to go to church when Bear Bear (the dog) dashed out the front door! Horrified, Thomas went after the dog. It is illegal for a dog to be out without a leash. And we definitely do no want to lose one of the Neese family member while they were gone!!

Bear Bear ran next door to a neighbor's house. While trying to grab Bear Bear..the neighbor's cat(came out from I don't know where) got frightened and scratched Tom's forehead! It looked pretty bad to me. Big lines across his forehead and blood oozing out! Tom finally got Bear Bear back into the house. And we decided to drive home to get his wound medicated because there wasn't any in the Neese household. And the last thing i want is for Tom to bloat up because of allergy again! And thus, we skipped church service today.

Anyhow, we've had a good long weekend. I had a 5 day weekend, Tom had 4! So, we're ready to get back in gear for a new week. Though we got a little lazy after the long weekend. But hey!! Bring It On!! It's a new day! God is so faithful! =)

.....Pheng (tired of Bear Bear's whining)
.....Thomas (talking on the phone with his family-Tom's dad, then Ah Sok, then now his sister)
.....Bear Bear (just glad to be around any homo sapien-such a social dog)

Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T10:15:00.001-06:00

Today is Thanksgiving Day here in America. People generally take this special day to pause and be thankful for the people or things in their lives. I've came up with mine a few weeks back, but never got the chance to post it until now.

I've pondered on what I'm thankful for in life and there are many. A speaker came to our church almost three weeks ago and spoke at our Missions Conference. Wayne Myers said, "How much you are really worth, is what you have left when you've lost it all."

If I lost all the material things in my life, God, my family and friends still remain. So, naturally they are the top of the list. There are other things that I'm thankful for too. Here's a few that I've came up with. What are YOU thankful for?

1) God’s love and mercy

2) My beloved family

3) His promise of salvation for them

4) Sister and brother’s salvation

5) My dear husband

6) My friends (near and afar)

7) Food to eat

8) Car to get around with

9) Church to serve in

10) People who love me

11) My youth pastors who have sowed into my life

12) Healthy body

13) Opportunity to study abroad

14) God’s FAITHFULNESS

Lost

2007-10-09T21:27:00.000-06:00

I feel kinda lost. Not sure where God would want us. Not sure what His plans are. Of course, ppl will say God has a plan, He will make a way. And all that is true, i know it is. But when it comes to really believing it in my heart..it's not easy. And i guess it will never be easy.

When circumstances and the odds are against you, it's hard. It's hard to keep believing, keep trusting. Everyday is a new day. A new day to decide to trust Him. A new day to know that He's got my back. =) A new day to know that my God is big enough for me. That He cares, that He never lets me down. To know that even if things don't come through..He is still God and that He's still on the throne. Like Daniel's 3 friends in the Bible? They said stg along these lines..that EVEN if God doesn't come through and save them, they will still not bow down to the idol.

So goes for me i guess. A lesson that can be learnt..EVEN if God doesn't come through, I shall never waiver. I shall be strong. I will still love Him. I cannot bow down to worry, fear, doubt. That's where the rubber meets the road!

The high priest in the olden days minister in the Most Holy Place with no light. He moves about in the small and pitch black room, ministering before the Lord. He cannot see. "The just shall live by faith" "We live by faith, not by sight". It's really more than a song isn't it?

Hmm...i almost feel like a piece of rubberband stretched more and more and more........

Anyways, please pray for me. My ulcer and my jaw hurt really bad. It's been like that for almost a week. Thank you for your prayers.

berylynn

At The Foot of The Cross

2007-10-09T21:25:00.000-06:00

At the foot of the cross
Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me Your love
Through the judgment You received
And You've won my heart
And You've won my heart
Now I can

Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

At the foot of the cross
Where I am made complete
You have given me life
Through the death you bore for me
And You've won my heart
And You've won my heart
Now I can

And You've won my heart
And You've won my heart
Now I can..

BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-09-18T23:06:00.000-06:00

It's my brother's BIRTHDAY today!!!!!!!!!!! September 19th! He turned 26 this year. I'm happy that he got to spend his birthday with his someone special-Soo Ling. I sure do miss him though we're not the closest brother and sister. He's still the only brother i've got! =))

FUNNY GUY!!

2007-09-18T12:00:00.000-06:00

Hahaaa..i almost forgot to write this. We were in the kitchen last night wanting to cook and pack for lunch the next day. Before we started cooking, we had to put away the pots, plates and cups in the dish dryer from the night before.

I was telling Tom about my 'new' favorite song. I was excited to play Ronan Keating's song on the Ipod for him that i really enjoyed at work that day. If you're curious about what song, I played "Lovin Each Day" by Ronan Keating. I was sooooo excited. I turned up the speakers and turn to face Thomas...

He cracked me up! He started dancing and grooving to the music. And as usual i laugh..then he went on and on. And then, he picked up a little silver pot and started dancing with it..and used it as a mike! He's soooo funny!!!

I was really impressed. He can dance!! Hahaaa..for those of you who didn't know he could! HAhahahhahahaaaa...

You can try to make him dance for you, but i think it will never be the same! Phenomenal!

heeheee..

Small Group!

2007-09-17T23:13:00.000-06:00

We went to our first small group EVER since we joined this church. We have put it off for the longest time because of various reasons: we don't know anyone, we didn't have the time etc etc. BUT finally, when Pr. Melissa approached me 2 days ago about this small group she's starting today for newly weds, we knew it was time for us to be plugged into a small group. Not that it wasn't 'time' before..but we both knew that we should this time!

We went for the first meeting tonight. It was so good. We didn't look at any curriculum tonight, but we had a good time getting to know new couples, new people in the church. We had a good time.A "jolly-good-time" a British will say? =)

Okay..it's late. We're going to bed. yawnnnnn...

berylynn

Pet Peeve

2007-09-16T18:06:00.000-06:00

We're all learning something new about ourselves each other. Recently, i found out what really ticks me off..BIG TIME! INJUSTICE and someone who doesn't keep his/her word.

Injustice in my own words..when something is done in an unfair manner. I'm a very strong advocate that one should carry out his/ her responsibility thoroughly. I cannot stand when one does not do things 'right'. A lot of times, i will review in my mind what the right thing is..or what i would do if i were in that position etc etc. I get so mad when i see INCONSISTENCY in the way a person handles things.

And really, i think that my intolerance towards injustice has a close link to my aggravation towards someone who doesn't keep his/ her word. When someone does not deliver what he promised me he will do, i get really upset. And i mean..REALLY upset. I think that he should NOT even give me his word in the first place if he wasn't planning on keeping his word. How disrespectful to lead someone to trust that you will keep your word and then only to let them down.

I know that not everyone out there gets ticked-off by such people..but i really have a hard time with people like that. Yes, God is full of GRACE and MERCY. But like i said..these are things that i found out about myself recently. Yeah, i need to be gracious..but how much better this place would be..if things are done rightly/fairly/justly..and people deliver what their words promise to.

Sigh..anyways. That's my frustrations right now..just thought i could let out some constant thoughts in my heart.

berylynn

Is It Really Possible?

2007-09-10T19:18:00.001-06:00

I'm at home right now, resting from a full day of being in front of the computer screen. Have been thinking today..is it really possible to work and study at the same time? Is it possible to be newly weds, adjusting to a new life and still take time to study? Not to mention the work load involved for ministry? What about the money for school fees? One semester's school fees here is similar to what one needs to pay for 3 years of Public University's fees back home.

YET..in saying all that. I searched deep within..and i'm forced to ask myself this question: do i believe that i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me? Do i really believe God when He said "NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD"? Do i believe that I am made in His image? Do i believe that i can achieve and excel in the dreams and hopes that He has put in my heart? Do i believe that I am the head and not the tail? Do i believe that when i am weak, that's when He's strong?

"I DO!" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and He is my Provider!!

lynn

Joke

2007-07-31T20:49:00.000-06:00

I was waiting for my hubby to pick me up from work today. I get off at 6pm, but he finishes at about 6.20pm and he has to drive to church to pick me up. So usually, he gets here by 6.50-7.00pm. That leaves me a lot of time to just relax after a long day at work. So, i went online to www.thestar.com.my (a local Malaysian news online) and read a funny joke. I told the joke to Tom in the car and he laughed so hard! He thought it was so funny that he already told the joke to 2 of his friends tonight. Just thought you guys might wanna read and check it out!!

To my blonde friends out there. No offense, okay?? It's just a joke....

A lawyer and a blonde woman were sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer leaned over to her and asked if she would like to play a fun game. The blond decline and turned towards the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persisted, saying that the game was really easy and a lot of fun. "I ask you a question and if you don't know the answer, you pay me, and vice-versa. Again, the blond politely declined and tried to get some sleep.

The lawyer made another offer. "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, but if I don't know the answer, I pay you $50." The blond agreed.

The lawyer asked the first question : "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?". The blond silently reached into her purse, pulled out a five-dollar bill, and handed it to the lawyer. Then she asked the lawyer : "What goes up the hill with three legs and comes down with four?"

The lawyer took out his laptop and searched all his references. He tapped into the airphone with his modem and searched the net. Frustrated, he sent emails to all his co- workers and friends. All to no avail. After and hour, he gave up.

He woke the blonde and gave her fifty bucks. The blond took the money, then turned away to get back to sleep. The lawyer asked the blond: "Well, so what is the answer?".

Again, without a word, the blonde reached into her purse, took out five bucks and handed it to the lawyer, and went back to sleep.

Cheers!

Countdown

2007-05-04T14:26:00.001-06:00

Muahahahhahahaaaa....the countdown begins. 11 days, 10, 9, 8, 7....i'm going home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pics

2007-03-21T00:30:00.000-06:00

Mum and Ah Yee..

Chee Phang and Ah Loo..

Family..

Grandparents..

Sweetheart..

Missing home..

God??

2007-01-08T02:06:00.000-06:00

Today, i'm reminded that God's standards are so high yet, He never lowers His standards just because we cannot possibly meet them in our inadequate attempt to! BUT, i am also reminded and comforted that while His standards are high, He also abounds in His multi-faceted character...

His love is deep
His love is wide
His love is strong and..
His mercies never dry!

His goodness sufficient
His grip of grace tight
His Gift is offered
So men should never die!

what else can we ask for? what else can we demand??
God in the flesh..Immanuel has come! ~If God is for us, who can be against us??~

in awe..beryl

Girls Girls..

2007-01-04T22:02:00.000-06:00

Ever strong and charming Felicia...

Oh..playful and beloved Eloise..

Loved and missed..

Worth It All-Rita Springer

2007-01-01T23:16:00.000-06:00

I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways

Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You

It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this

You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this

this songs is for me..and also for a dear dear friend-Michel..we miss you.

Thankful

2007-01-01T23:04:00.000-06:00

As i begin this new year with great and many challenges ahead..i want to pause and be thankful for the precious blessings that God Almighty has lavished upon me..

i thank God for..

my salvation..
my family and dear ones..
my friends both near and far..
my church here and at home..
the opportunity to study abroad here in CFNI and beyond..
His providence..
His faithfulness..
His steadfastness..
His belief in me..

without all the above, i wouldn't be who i am today, i wouldn't be where i am today. thank you Lord for life..and life abundantly! keep me in your path Lord..

~pheng

heart laid bare

2006-12-30T02:23:00.000-06:00

When life is slipping away from between my fingers..i turn to You.

When life seem impossible..i trust in You.

When i do not understand..i hope in You.

Words are not enough, Lord you know my heart, You know my cry...You know my needs. If You do not come through, there's no more hope. Do only what You can do Lord..breathe life! Bring life!!

p/s: i'm praying and believing for life for 2 people: Michel's dad..and someone else very close to my heart. Please pray for a life of an embrio who has no heartbeat and is believed to have no hope of survival. What is impossible to man, is possible to our God..

Only believe..

???

2006-12-21T04:03:00.000-06:00

God created man and woman in His image. When man sinned in the garden of Eden, God killed an animal to cloth Adam and Eve with the animal skin. God's glory that covered man left because of their downfall and their sin. If covering up was not essential, why did God take all the trouble to perform the first 'murder'?? ...just to make a fashion statement??

We have been robbed from our identity in God, from His design. Women are told that the more skin you reveal, the better! It is considered as sexy and appealing. The world thinks it's great, and the men thinks it's phenomenal!! Of course, that is a very sweeping statement..i know. I apologize and honor you men out there who truly honor a woman as God's precious daughter. BUT generally, that's what the world has become.

Pornography is so prevalent today. Everything or maybe MOST of what you hear in secular songs today are about love and sex. Everything you see in most movies, if not all..has sexual scenes, suggestive scenes or conversations. Hollywood and most of all the advertising companies uses sex as a tool to sell their product. What has a car got to do with girls wearing skimpy clothings? What has promoting a body shampoo or even shampoo got to do with women without shirts?? What has selling music got to do with posing with a bikini for the front CD cover? What happened??? How did we end up like this??? *&#^$*&@#^

Satan has robbed us!! God has designed sex to be beautiful and fulfilling under the covenant of marriage. It will be a curse if done anywhere or anytime outside of a marriage covenant. I say curse because it really brings nothing good but sorrow, self-hatred, purposelessness, hopelessness..and the list goes on and on. Marriage is a symbol of God's covenant love to us. Marriage is the ultimate relationship that will mirror God's relationship and covenant to His people. That's why the devil tries so hard to twist and pervert what God has design to be beautiful!!

I want to encourage and challenge you ladies out there, to dress in a way that honors God. and to wait until after marriage for sexual fulfillment. To you godly men out there, continue to pursue holiness and consecration unto the Lord in your thoughts and the things you see. God knows it's hard in this highly sexualised society..BUT He will give you the strength! No temptation is too great that you cannot overcome! He will honor you as you choose to honor and love Him..as you honor and love His precious daughters...

There is hope in this hopeless world..for those who hope in the Lord shall not be put to shame!! Hallelujah!!!!!~

Faith?

2006-12-18T17:08:00.001-06:00

Wether we realise it or not, we live by faith everyday..

When you sleep at night, you believe that your lungs will not fail you in inhaling and exhaling O2. You believe that you will wake up the next morning alive and well.

When you turn on the hot water tap, you believe that it will turn hot even when in reality, it is cold. You continue to allow the cold water to run because you believe that it will turn hot in a few moments.

When you get into your car, you believe that the engine will start to take you where you want to go.

When you sit on a chair, you believe that it will support your weight.

When you eat, you believe that the food is clean and that you won't get diarrhoea!

That is FAITH!! If we use faith everyday..then why in the world is it sometimes so hard for us to trust in the unfailing God. His love never fails..heaven and earth will pass away, but His Word will remain. His Word is Jesus and Jesus is Love. Neither one will fail...

Jesus will NOT fail..
His Word will NOT fail..
and His Love will NEVER fail!

"Easier said than done!" ..but God knows you try. He will help your unbelief if only you would ask. "So go ahead! Jump off the cliff of self-sufficiency. Leap out of legalism. Walk off the pier of guilt and condemnation. That's the only way you'll land in the strong arms of the father who loves you..the Father who catches you-every time-in the grip of His grace." - Max Lucado

........... berylynn

I Will Be Here

2006-12-09T00:27:00.000-06:00

I Will Be Here
(Steven Curtis Chapman)

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
and the sun does not appear
I will be here
If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear
'Cause I will be here

I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winning, losing and trying
We'll be together
I will be here

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I will be here
Just as sure as seasons were made for change
Our lifetimes were made for these years
So I will be here

I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I will be here
Oh, I will be here.

Snowing!!`

2006-11-30T13:47:00.000-06:00

Fa la la la laaa la la la laaaa...

It's snowing NOW!!! Snow..snow..woohoo!! I enjoyed walking in the snow and watch how the snow flakes fall on my black coat. There is snow on the cars, on the roof..everywhere!! I was on my way back from lunch at the cafeteria and i picked up some snow in my hands, took it into my apartment..and threw it at my roomie-Sarah!! Ahahahahahaaa...that was so FUN! Besides the fact that she treatened to throw snow at me when i'm sleeping!

Anyways..just wanted to share my excitement with you guys ler..enjoy the sun in Penang for me! and i'll enjoy the snow for you~ i wanna try to take some pictures..and put it up here..SOON!

*chad's nuts roasting on the fire....*

=))

Please Pray

2006-11-23T23:46:00.000-06:00

please pray for me..i've been down with severe cough and flu for a week now. i struggle to fall asleep.. please pray for healing.

thank you..

Racial Discrimination??

2006-11-23T12:34:00.000-06:00

List of racial discriminations in Malaysia

List of racial discriminations in Malaysia, practiced by government as wellas government agencies. This list is an open secret. Best verified by government itself because it got the statistics. This list is not in the order of importance, that means the first one on the list is not the most important and the last one on the list does not mean least important. This list is a common knowledge to a lot of Malaysians, especially those non-malays (Chinese, Ibans, Kadazans, Orang Asli, Indians, etc) who were being racially discriminated. Figures in this list are estimates only and please take it as a guide only. Government of Malaysia has the most correct figures. Is government of Malaysia too ashamed to publish their racist acts by publishing racial statistics?

This list cover a period of about 48 years since independence (1957). List of racial discriminations (Malaysia):

(1) Out of all the 5 major banks, only one bank is multi-racial, the rest are controlled by Malays

(2) 99% of Petronas directors are malays

(3) 3% of Petronas employees are Chinese

(4) 99% of 2000 Petronas gasoline stations are owned by malays

(5) 100% all contractors working under Petronas projects must be bumis status

(6) 0% of non-malays staffs is legally required in malay companies. But there must be 30% malays staffs in Chinese companies.

(7) 5% of all new intake for government police, nurses, army, is non-malays.

(8) 2% is the present Chinese staff in Royal Malaysian Air Force (RMAF), drop from 40% in 1960

(9) 2% is the percentage of non-malays government servants in Putrajaya. But malays make up 98%

(10) 7% is the percentage of Chinese government servants in the whole government (in 2004), drop from 30% in 1960

(11) 95% of government contracts are given to malays

(12) 100% all business licensees are controlled by malay government e.g. taxi permits, Approved permits, etc

(13) 80% of the Chinese rice millers in Kedah had to be sold to malay controlled Bernas in 1980s. Otherwise, life is make difficult for Chinese rice millers

(14) 100 big companies set up, owned and managed by Chinese Malaysians weretaken over by government, and later managed by malays since 1970s e.g. UTC, UMBC, MISC, etc

(15) At least 10 Chinese owned bus companies (throughout Malaysia, throughout 40 years) had to be sold to MARA or other malay transport companies due to rejection by malay authority to Chinese application for bus routes and rejection for their application for new buses

(16) 2 Chinese taxi drivers were barred from driving in Johor Larkin bus station. There are about 30 taxi drivers and 3 are Chinese in October 2004. Spoiling taxi club properties was the reason given

(17) 0 non-malays are allowed to get shop lots in the new Muar bus station (November 2004)

(18) 8000 billions ringgit is the total amount the government channeled to malays pockets through ASB, ASN, MARA, privatisation of government agencies, Tabung Haji etc, through NEP over 34 years period

(19) 48 Chinese primary schools closed down since 1968 - 2000

(20) 144 Indian primary schools closed down since 1968 - 2000

(21) 2637 malay primary schools built since 1968 - 2000

(22) 2.5% is government budget for Chinese primary schools. Indian schools got only 1%, malay schools got 96.5%

(23) While a Chinese parent with RM1000 salary (monthly) cannot get school-text-book-loan, a malay parent with RM2000 salary is eligible

(24) 10 all public universities vice chancellors are malays

(25) 5% - the government universities lecturers of non-malay origins had been reduced from about 70% in 1965 to only 5% in 2004

(26) Only 5% is given to non-malays for government scholarships over 40 years

(27) 0 Chinese or Indians were sent to Japan and Korea under "Look East Policy"

(28) 128 STPM Chinese top students could not get into the course that they aspired i.e. Medicine (in 2004)

(29) 10% place for non-bumi students for MARA science schools beginning from year 2003, but only 7% are filled. Before that it was 100% malays

(30) 50 cases whereby Chinese and Indian Malaysians, are beaten up in the National Service program in 2003

(31) 25% is Malaysian Chinese population in 2004, drop from 45% in 1957

(32) 7% is the present Malaysian Indians population (2004), a drop from 12% in 1957

(33) 2 millions Chinese Malaysians had emigrated to overseas since 40 years ago

(34) 0.5 million Indians Malaysians had emigrated to overseas

(35) 3 millions Indonesians had migrated into Malaysia and became Malaysian citizens with bumis status.

(36) 600000 are the Chinese and Indians Malaysians with red IC and were rejected repeatedly when applying for citizenship for 40 years. Perhaps 60% of them had already passed away due to old age. This shows racism of how easily Indonesians got their citizenships compare with the Chinese and Indians

(37) 5% - 15% discount for a malay to buy a house, regardless whether the malay is rich or poor

(38) 2% is what Chinese new villages get compare with 98% of what malays villages got for rural development budget

(39) 50 road names (at least) had been change from Chinese names to other names

(40) 1 Dewan Gan Boon Leong (in Malacca) was altered to other name (e.g.Dewan Serbaguna or sort) when it was being officially used for a few days. Government try to shun Chinese names. This racism happened in around year 2000 or sort

(41) 0 temples/churches were built for each housing estate. But every housing estate got at least one mosque/surau built

(42) 3000 mosques/surau were built in all housing estates throughout Malaysia since 1970. No temples, no churches are required to be built in housing estates

(43) 1 Catholic church in Shah Alam took 20 years to apply to be constructed. But told by malay authority that it must look like a factory and not look like a church. Still not yet approved in 2004

(44) 1 publishing of Bible in Iban language banned (in 2002)

(45) 0 of the government TV stations (RTM1, RTM2, TV3) are directors of non-malays origin

(46) 30 government produced TV dramas and films always showed that the bad guys had Chinese face, and the good guys had malay face. You can check it out since 1970s. Recent years, this tendency becomes less

(47) 10 times, at least, malays (especially Umno) had threatened to massacre the Chinese Malaysians using May 13 since 1969

(48) 20 constituencies won by DAP would not get funds from the government to develop. Or these Chinese majority constituencies would be the last to bedeveloped

(49) 100 constituencies (parliaments and states) had been racistly re-delineated so Chinese voters were diluted that Chinese candidates, particularly DAP candidates lost in election since 1970s

(50) Only 3 out of 12 human rights items are ratified by Malaysia government since 1960

(51) 0 elimination of, all forms of racial discrimination (UN Human Rights) is not ratified by Malaysia government since 1960s

(52) 20 reported cases whereby malay ambulance attendance treated Chinese patients inhumanely, and malay government hospital staffs purposely delay attending to Chinese patients in 2003. Unreported cases may be 200

(53) 50 cases each year whereby Chinese, especially Chinese youths being beaten up by malay youths in public places. We may check at police reports provided the police took the report, otherwise there will be no record

(54) 20 cases every year whereby Chinese drivers who accidentally knocked down malays were seriously assaulted or killed by malays

(55) 12% is what ASB/ASN got per annum while banks fixed deposit is only about 3.5% per annum

Is it reliable information? I don't know. So.....how do we respond to this??

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

More Babies

2006-11-11T23:36:00.000-06:00

More pictures of babies...lalalaaa

Kai Ling, Mummy and Kai Xin..

Eloise...baby.... =)

Felicia..aawww...

lalaalaaa....pheng

Prayer Needs

2006-11-04T02:19:00.000-06:00

Please pray for Thomas. He needs a financial breaktrough to be able to register for school on Monday..

Please pray for me..for strength. with my work schedule, and my assignments..and ministry.

Thank you..

My response..

2006-11-04T02:08:00.000-06:00

We're all alarmed by the accusations against Pr. Ted Haggard. With all the buzz and cameras all over this nation, different people with different comments and opinions..it's crazy! I do not personally know this Pr, and haven't had the priviledge to learn from his teachings/ books whatsoever. I do not know the full story and i will never know the outcome of all this. The effects on the coming election, the church, his own family and the world. Yes, this news grieved me tremendously, but as i was pondering about this..God reminded me of this while i was in the bathroom! =P ...that "he who has no sin, let him throw the first stone"

Yup! That one sentence says it all. We have all sinned, we have all fallen short of the glory of God. Yes, there are consequences of sin..but who are we to judge when there is only One Judge. Where is the grace, mercy and love? It's not a time for the church to turn their back against each other or against Pr. Ted Haggard. It is a time to arise and be strong. Continue to run this race..and FINISH strong!! The book of John (in the Bible) says that it is by our love for each other that others will see and know that we are Christ's disciple. In this dark situation, let our love shine even brighter..let His love shine!! We are more than conquerors. We are VICTORS! It is our faith that overcomes the world!!

i love you JESUS!

Babies

2006-11-01T01:24:00.000-06:00

Sigh..what can i say? I miss the girls sooo much! Look how much they've grown! It makes me cry everytime i look at their new pics. I missed the first baby step, the first tooth, the first spoken word, the first chuckle, the first laugh... =( Lord, please bless them lotsss and kiss them lots while i'm awayyyyyy...

This is Eloise-10 months old..

This is Felicia..1 year and 10 months old..

ahhh...*melt* so sweeeeettt!

tired..

2006-10-22T00:51:00.000-06:00

i'm tired..

my soul...heart, will, mind, emotion.

today..

2006-10-22T00:38:00.000-06:00

today it hit me hard..that..

- i am lost without God

- Thomas loves me dearly

.................

Morality-Grey, Black or White?

2006-10-11T22:17:00.000-06:00

I just took my mid-term test today. I studied so hard, slept at 2am..and the result? I did so bad..in light of the effort i put in!! I was so disappointed with myself. It was so hard for me to believe that i did so bad. and i came out of the IB and i cried..tears came, cause i was so disappointed with myself.

Not only that, something else fuelled my dissatisfaction. People who took this course last year were allowed to keep their test papers. And the teacher used the SAME test paper this year. What happened was the students last year passed those test questions out to their friends and they just studied or memorized that because they know that it's gonna be the same test this time..verbatim!

That made me so mad! Is that right? Where's the conscience? The morality behind this? Is that not called cheating? Then why did the teacher allowed us to keep the test papers and give the same test again year after year. Why do bible college students choose the easy way out? the cheating way? Or is that deemed alright to help your friends that way? That's CHEATING!, right?!

Then why do i study so hard and get bad results because the test is tricky..while others just get away by memorizing the test paper? Where's the justice???

As for me, i feel better now. I think i just want to be so excellent that i want to be perfect. If i fail to get an 'A' for this paper..it's gonna be the first 'B' i get so far. It will break my heart..but i have to remind myself that my self-worth is not in how good i do in a paper. There are eternal values that are more important than just getting an 'A' in a paper. Yes, i believe in excellence with all my heart, but excellence is not perfection.

I hate to say this, but i just have to tell myself that..maybe i'm just not as smart as i think i am. I can be confident in myself..but my ultimate confidence should come from the Lord. I think i am better than average..sometimes i tell myself that i am smart. but hey..maybe..just maybe, i'm not that brilliant. i don't want to blame it on the tricky questions..cause i know i could have done better.

But it's okay now..it's all good. I've decided to put it all behind now. I will do better next time. I believe, i hope, and i'll do my best to make it up in my finals to score an 'A' for this paper. IF i don't, i'll have to be okay with it. It's not the end of the world!!

Dear..thanks for encouraging me..helping me cheer up. Sorry i almost blew up on you. =) i love you..

To all who are reading, i'm alright now. Don't worry, i didn't write this to get any consolation, i just need to express my thoughts in words. Thanks for *listening*

God..help me put You first in my heart, not studies..

...pheng

Family

2006-10-01T16:59:00.000-06:00

This is Felicia, my eldest niece! She's now 1yr old and 7 months old. So gorgeous ah... =))

This is Eloise, my youngest niece. She's about 9 months old now. Cute eh??

This is my sister's graduation..back in Aug together with my parents.

Hehee..my picture updates!! =P

Sick

2006-09-20T21:36:00.000-06:00

Hmm..it's been more than a month since i last wrote. Anyways, it doesnt really matter..i think, cause not a lot of people read my blog save a few people like Mimi, Sammy and darling. This is the 4th time since i moved into this apt that i received free wireless reception. So i thought, yeah..might as well post stg in here.

Please pray for me. I am not feeling well. Down with flu and slight fever. I've taken flu medicine and i'm surprise i'm still awake. Please also pray for Thomas cause he's also sick..he probably passed his flu to me!

Other than that, it's been a crazy and hectic semester. I'm still slowly getting into my schedule for this semester. I'm working in the library, Starbucks and babysitting Isaiah (son of a friend) On Sundays, we're involved in the youth ministry..so there's quite a lot on my plate.

Okay..i'm gonna stop here. Got lots more to do online..since i'm on! =)) heheee..peace out!

Heading 'home'

2006-08-15T02:24:00.000-06:00

It's 2.20am right now. I've just finished watching "Brave Heart" with Aaron and Luke (Sarah's brothers) It's been sweet and sour for me today, knowing that i'm heading back to Dallas tomorrow morning. I have always wanted to watch this movie, but another reason why i watched it tonight even though it's so late already is because i want to spend time with the boys. I've grown to love them, as friends and as brothers. I know that i will miss them much, but i know that i will see them again.

This family: Mr. Brian, Ms Jan, Sarah, Aaron, Luke, Papa Jack and Mima has been such a blessing to me this past week. They have embraced and accepted me as one of their own. What a tremendous joy..on top of that, they have also loved Thomas even though they've never met! Aaron also bought a gift for Thomas with his own money..because i mentioned that Thomas shares the same interest as him but just never had the money to buy and keep 'them'. Aaron came to me tonight and passed me a gift for Thomas. It spoke volumes!! It meant that he has loved me as a sister..and has also loved and accepted Thomas as he accepted me. It was so sweet!!

I don't quite know how to say what i feel about this family. Each has blessed me MORE than words can say..really! I can't wait till i see them again..maybe during Thanksgiving or Christmas..someday..SOON!

Clayground

2006-08-10T01:45:00.000-06:00

Today, we (Sarah, Ms Jan: Sarah's mum and myself) went to Clayground and painted ourselves coffee cups and platter. Basically, you choose whatever you want to paint ranging from cups, mugs, photo frames, platter, napkin holder, plates..etc. Then, you can pick whatever colour you like and start painting on your selection of clay products! You can either paint one, two or even three coats as long as each layer is dry before applying the next. One layer of paint will give a water-colour kinda effect while three layers of paint will be an opaque colour.

There's different kinds of brushes: fat, round, thin. There are also some stencils or stamps that you can choose from to help you draw the motives you want on the cup. The pencil marks will disappear when the cup is heated in the fire and glazed. I'm excited to see the final outcome of my first hand-painted cup! woohoo...

That's the highlight of my day today. Will stay over at Sarah's grandparents' house tomorrow..till then.. =)

Redeeming Love

2006-08-09T01:38:00.000-06:00

I slept at 4am yesterday..and spent almost the whole of today reading the BEST novel i have ever read so far in my life-"Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers. It's a novel based on the story in the bible about prophet Hosea and his prostitude wife. It tells of how the Father's love is for us as well..undying, unquenchable, unconditional love for us. He's always hoping, always trusting, always luring us to come away with Him..to be in a love relationship with Him. It's sooo beautiful. I cried more than a dozen times, it's too good a book to not read it! So yeah, i highly recommend this book!!

After finishing the book, it dawned upon me that my sniffling and sneezing is more constant than my usual nasal problem. I've also had sorethroat since yesterday! I think i'm falling sick. Luke-Sarah's brother noticed my 'flu' or watever you call it..and asked if i was okay. I voluntarily asked to have some medicine! Unbelievable..anyways, so i took this cold medicine..and i'm starting to be sleepy. so i better go and sleep now..

Nights..

El Paso

2006-08-07T16:25:00.000-06:00

Just leaving a note to say that i've reached El Paso safely last night. I was so tired..i slept the entire way on my flight here. It was so good to see Sarah, my roomate in CFNI after almost 2 months! We chatted until almost 2am..so that gives me the 'excuse' to sleep until 11am this morning! Heehee..

This morning..i watched the movie "The Village" directed my M. Night Shamalan..(except the first 30 mins cause they started the movie already!) and i like the movie very much. Very interesting story.

Hahaa..cool. so yup..gotta go!

What Good Is The Armour of God....??

2006-08-03T12:26:00.000-06:00

Hey peeps! I just came back from the Hillsong United worship night at High Point Church last night. It was really good. I don't know about how tight the band was, whether they were good musically, da da daa..but spiritually, it was good. I really connected with God and the presence of God was there.

When one of the worship leaders led, spoke and prayed..i can really sense his heart, his passion and closeness to the Lord. I think his name is Marty Sampson. Not just him, but the rest of the team..you can just tell from the way they worship. It was inspiring..another worship leader also blatantly said that they are not here to entertain us, but to worship God! That is so cool! I'm sure that hit some ppl hard in the face cause it is an American Christian culture to bring bands in. People come, people go..sometimes or most of the time, it seems more of an entertainment than a worship band to them. So yeah, it was really good that the team made that statement!

After the worship, the Hillsong United youth pastor came up to speak. He was challenging us to stand for Jesus and not to go with the flow of society. What really struck me was the testimony he shared at the end of the sermon..

There was a youth named Jeremy in his youth group. At the end of each youth service, the pastor will randomly pick a high school's name and pray for the school. One day, he picked the name of a particular high school and asked if there's anyone who goes to that school so that they can be prayed for. No one came to the stage..but after waiting for a while, a boy slowly walked up to the stage to be prayed for-Jeremy.

From that point forward, Jeremy lived his life all out for Jesus. He brought 5 friends the following youth service and all of them got saved. He was radical!! Even when Jeremy graduated from that high school, he would still go back to the school to give seminars and talks to the students on self-esteem, values and leadership. He served and loved the people. The principal and students simply loved him!

Early this year, Jeremy died in a tragic car accident at the age of 19. At the funeral, 1500 ppl turned up!! The principal rented buses to take loads of students from the high school to attend Jeremy's funeral. Talk about the impact he made!!

Towards the end of the funeral, 2 of Jeremy's younger brothers came up to share their hearts. One of the brothers shared, that while he was looking through Jeremy's journal..this one line struck his heart.. "What good is the armour of God..without a warrior in it?????"

I am challenged to be that warrior that God has called me to be. To be a Frontliner..to stand at the battle line, pushing back the forces of darkness..and preparing the way for the pivotal event-the coming of our Prince of Peace!!

What good is living if we do not make a difference with our lives? What good is calling ourselves Christians if we do not shine in this dark world? What good are these vessels if they do not bring glory to the Maker? What good is the armour of God..if there is not warrior in it??

BORED

2006-08-01T21:51:00.000-06:00

I am so bored right now i can almost puke! I i don't feel like reading a book, i've cleaned and organized all my belongings, i've baked a cheesecake, i've watched tv, i've read articles online, i've done almost everything i can think of..and i'm still bored! arghhhhhhh!!

......................

Family

2006-07-31T18:58:00.000-06:00

I'm trying so hard to remain composed..but i really miss my family. I wanna go home. I want to be near my family..Lord please speed up the time i have to spend here away from them. Bless them with many joyful and happy days, with good health, good friends, good relationships. Most of all, may they all come to know your love soon. Amen...

Left to Right: Kenneth (my brother-in-law/Loo's husband), Pheng Loo (eldest sister), Pheng Geok (second sister), Mama, Felicia Khaw(eldest niece-Loo's daughter), Papa, Me, Chee Keong (elder brother)

This pic was taken in May 2005 before i came to Dallas in June 2005.

Not in picture: Newborn niece-Eloise Khaw sister of Felicia

Was looking through some pictures and THIS ONE caught my eyes. I personally took this priceless picture. I'm so proud of myself! So cuteeeeeeee right? Hahaa..she's MINE! =P Oh..btw, this is Felicia.

Missing all...

MISSING

2006-07-31T18:29:00.000-06:00

Missing for more than a week. Last heard from email weeks ago. If you have seen this girl or have any information about her whereabouts..please contact me at berylynn@hotmail.com. A handsome reward given for helpful information.

Name: Emily Yeoh Pheng Geok
Height: Approx 5 feet 3"
Eyes: Dark brown
Hair: Black
Languages spoken: English, Malay, Mandarin, Hokkien
Others: Very funny girl, laughs at a lot of things, drives a metalic brown Iswara
Note: Does not wear braces anymore..
Picture: The one with blue jacket

Please help me find my missing sister.. =(

Worlds Apart

2006-07-30T23:00:00.000-06:00

We (Thomas and I) survived a youth lock-in event in church this past Friday night till Saturday morning. It was...DISASTROUS!! There were 4 leaders including us and about 16 teenagers. We reached church at about 630pm, and played board games, Pictionary and basketball as the crowd began to trickle in. We had pizza for dinner and then resume playing games.

At about 930pm, we had worship and Opie gave a short Word, after which all the madness . The youth were running around in the whole building, screaming, playing, shouting, throwing small packets of coffee creamer on the floor till it burst! Crazy..it was crazy!! They were loud, they were rude, they showed attitude to you. They just couldn't care less. They even broke the church bathroom door and the water fountain. They almost tore the whole place down..almost!

Most of them did NOT sleep at all. So did Opie and Thomas!! I slept 3 hours..well, barely cause i was falling in and out of sleep with all the noise of running footsteps and voices. We had to scold and correct them so many times but they just wouldn't listen. Someone even tried to steal another person's discman. All the drama in a night!

There were white kids, there were Hispanics, and we also have some black kids in the youth group. One thing that struck me was the great gulf of differences between these different people groups. Most or if not all Hispanic youth loathe the white kids. Can't blame them i guess. They are brought up in a community that feels ostracized by the white community. Hence, these Hispanic kids grow up with prejudice towards the whites! Some white kids are more withdrawn from the Hispanics and the blacks. And the blacks and the whites? ..are also worlds apart. They are so different!! and to bring them altogether in unity and love..it's so difficult.

It's almost like Malaysia. We have the Chinese, the Malays and the Indians. We say that we live in harmony..but really, it may not be as harmonious if we look under the carpet. The Chinese don't really like the Malays because they have special 'bumiputera' rights from the government. The Malays, for some reason..don't really like the Chinese. Maybe they feel treatened with the Chinese for their tremendous growth in business, education, etc. The Indians..i don't know. I'm just venting.

My point in saying all this is..the society everywhere around the world is antagonistic with each other, agree? Yes, No? Is yes..then how do we as Christians bring about peace? I'm reminded in Matthew 5..it says "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God." How then shall we live?

Will you be counted to bring peace to this hostile world??

Peni-El

2006-07-27T22:45:00.000-06:00

Just came back from dinner and spending time with the Chin family. After dinner, we had a fun time playing 'Spoons' (same concept with 'Heart Attack' game back home, difference is you grab a spoon on the table once you have the 4 same cards. last person without a spoon loses). We also played 'Pictionary' after that with Sam who came and join us shortly after. It was such a good time of laughing at each other and our attempts at drawing! We really had a good time.

Peni-El..what a name. She's the youngest daughter in the family. Aunty Irene was sharing with us the story about Peni-El's birth. The twins were pre-mature babies of about 7 months old. Peni-El was so sick when she was a newborn. She was in ICU for 4 months after birth. Her intestines had infection and made her tummy bloated up. The doctors has to cut open her stomach countless times to do surgeries on her. After few times of reoccurences of infections and surgery, the doctors decided to just leave the intestines outside of the body. The doctors also told Aunty Irene 2 or 3 times to just take Peni-El home because she will not make it through the night, but they held on to God's word and visions for them. God clearly spoke to her in dreams and His Word that Peni-El will live and that He will heal her completely.

Initially, the doctors refused to put the intestines back into baby Peni-El, but Aunty Irene and Uncle Joe insisted because God told them that when He heals, He will heal COMPLETELY. Holding on to God's words, they believed for Peni-El to be well. True enough, God healed her and they were able to take her home. She never developed proper speech until about 3.5 years old because she had ear infection that caused her ears to be clogged up with puss. She also had down-syndrome symptoms till when she was about 1 year old. Slowly but surely, God healed this child!!

What a story..what a testimony of how great His love is for Peni-El and for each of us. As i was listening to Aunty Irene speak, my tears welled up in my eyes. How great is our God..what an amazing plan and destiny He has for this girl!! Crazyyy..i cannot fully fathom God's love for us. I cannot understand why such a big God would be so interested in each individual life. Every little baby counts. Peni-El counts!!

Even through the 3 times that i was at the Chin's crib, i have really grown to like Peni-El a LOT. She reminds me a little bit of my sister..and she's just so funny! When we played Pictionary, she was LOUD, she was aggresive,..she was bursting with LIFE!! who would have thought that she was a small fragile baby who almost lost her life? But NO, God had better plans, God had a destiny for her life!

It goes the same for each of us, right? We may not have such a dramatic story like Peni-El's but everyone has a story to tell. Testimonies of God's grace and mercy..stories with God's fingerprints all over it. How great..how great is our God.

I'm just gonna go to bed meditating on this..that God is great..and greatly to be praised!!

In speechless awe of You..

Hillsong United

2006-07-27T16:22:00.000-06:00

Yeehaaa!! Next wed, Aug the 2nd (I believe)..we're gonna go to High Point Church for a worship/concert night with Hillsong United for free!!!!!! weeee...i'm so excited. I've always wanted to go Australia for the Hillsong Conference, and now..i get to go for the United one here in Dallas. What a deal!!! So yup, if you live in Dallas..make sure you go!

Also, I found out that they will be travelling to Houston after that. Houston is another city In Texas about 4-5 hours away. And then....they will travel to EL PASO!! hahahahha...Guess what? My roomie -Sarah's parents offered to fly me to El Paso to spend time with them, after which i will drive home with Sarah for Fall sem. I will fly out on the 6th of Aug and drive back to Dallas on the 15th. Which means...i may be able to see Hillsong United in El Paso too!! =))))

Oh well...i'm just excited! Thrilled to fly on a plane again too. I wonder how it'll feel like flying..after all the roller coasters rides in Six Flags. Interesting..*think about it*

Hair-do

2006-07-26T14:20:00.000-06:00

This pic was taken quite some time back..say 6 months ago? In case you're not familiar, the one one the left is Seul-Kee (Thomas's roomate) I really like this picture of myself..with my LONG hair. Uhhh..just reminiscing on how it felt to have long hair. My hair now is not extremely short. It's just about the shoulder length. I wanna post a pic of myself..maybe later, after i take a shower! =P

Heehee... ~pheng

Change is good

2006-07-26T00:43:00.000-06:00

Hey! welcome welcome..like the new looks of my blog? hmm..maybe you'll like my new haircut too! nope, not kidding..i just got a haircut today!

Thomas and i went and visited a Singaporean family who just moved here to CFNI to attend Pastoral school in Fall sem. they're such a pleasant family..we had dinner together, talked and laughed together. Aunty Irene offered to give me a haircut while Tom and Uncle Joe went off for a car wash at 8pm! =) They have 3 daugthers: Kelley, Victoria and Peni-El. Kelley is 17 while Victoria and Peni-El are 14 yrs old. Btw, they are twins!! ..not identical though.

So, i had 3 personal assistants (Aunty Irene and the 2 younger girls) fixing my hair tonight. My hair treatment today was inclusive of cutting, hair treatment, hair wash, blow-dry and straightening. Howzz that sound? heeheee..such a blessing! *grin*

I shared with Aunty Irene that i really miss home..even cried a little bit today as i read the Frontliners' (youth back home) updates and emails. She reassured me that it will be alright..and said that they will be my family here! So sweet..and i know that she didn't say it out of courtesy. Asians don't usually do that! =))

I guess this is what church is huh? Being there to encourage one another, and to love each other. Thank you Lord for bringing this family..and for crossing our paths. Thank you..

your child..
pheng

..and I am not

2006-07-23T23:49:00.000-06:00

Today while traveling to church in the evening for leaders meeting, we were listening to Steven Curtis Chapman in the car. We were already listening to the same album the day before..but today, it hit me as i listen to this one song with a particular line that says.."God is God, and I am not.."

When Pr Joe (senior pastor) was sharing his heart in the meeting..he mentioned that the bottom line of next week's message can be summed up in one line: "God is God and I am not" !!!...

I have been very concerned especially just last night, about where God is leading me and us (Thomas & I) when our time here in the States is up. What ministry/church/organisation do we serve under..dadadaa..things like that. In the midst of uncertainty..i know that He is reassuring me that He is God and I am not..i'm just a man. I can plan and wish for and try to look ahead..but some times, when i'm done desiring and dreaming big and visioneering, it still takes a step of faith to trust that He holds the future. He knows what's best..and that He will guide and lead me like a Good Shepherd. Like the saying goes, "we'll cross the bridge when we reach there"

So, i shall not fret, thought difficult it will be. i will trust in my God, my Lord..my friend, because i know..that He holds my future. He has a bigger and better plan for me that all the great things i can ever imagine or dream of with my human mind.

...i'm gonna hit the sack. goodnight..
pheng

Busy!!

2006-07-22T22:43:00.000-06:00

I had a tiring week this past week. So many things and events..but i thoroughly enjoyed myself!

On Tuesday midnight (after my work), Sam Thecka, Seul Kee and I planned a surprise for Tom for his birthday on the 19th of July! After Tom walked me home to my apt from work, i took the raspberry cheesecake that i made and met up with Sam. We hurried to Tom's car and left the cake with a lighted candle in his car!! and if you're wondering..NO, we didn't blow up the car! =) Then, I called Tom on his cellphone and asked him to check if i left my key in the car. While he was making his way down to the car, Sam and I ran up to his apt and Seul Kee let us into the bedroom. By the time Tom called me on my cell and made his way back to his house, we came out of his room singing the birthday song!! Hahahaa..it wasn't like a BIG BIG surprise..but we really wanted him to feel special and loved! =) Then we had the cheesecake together..which i thought was a little brown, BUT everyone liked it very much! *grin*

The following day on Wednesday, i went to work at 7am!..and left work at 10am to forth worth zoo (about 45 mins away) together with Tom on his birthday. It was such a HOT day..about 105F...it was ridiculous. We were sweating like pigs! =) We saw lots of animals..it was REALLY fun. My fav animal was the "king kong"..it was so HUGE! We spent the rest of the day in Forth Worth..and also met up with Jeff, a close friend who just came back to visit from China!

On Thursday, I went to work at 7am again! by now..i only slept 4.5 each night for 2 nights in a row. I worked until 12pm..and then headed to Six Flags with my church youth. I am very afraid of heights and roller coasters..but this time around, i enjoyed myself SO MUCH!!! I had my eyes open the whole time on all the roller coasters. I'm just so happy that i'm not afraid of taking roller coasters anymore! My fav ride in the whole park was the 'Batman' and the 'Texas Giant'-a big roller coaster ride made with just WOOD..except the nails, of course. Wanna find out more?..go to sixflags.com and check it out!! =)

On Friday, i also worked at 7am. In the evening, Tom, Sam T, Jeff, Amanda, Matt, Diana, Catherine and I went to a chinese restaurant to celebrate Tom's bday!! it was good to eat chinese food again!! We spent the rest of the night talking and laughing in Tom's crib...

I was sooooooooooo tired..i slept from Saturday 1am to 12pm-Sat noon. 11 hours of sleep..and still i feel a bit strange. I think i still need to catch up on some sleep. Hahaaa...i'm glad the busy week is over..and YFN is also over. Which means i have no work until when school starts in 4 weeks time!! woohooo....

Just a little update on what's happening this past week. I thought it was interesting to share... =)

i miss home..pheng

Tres Leche Cake

2006-06-24T14:24:00.000-06:00

Heehee..i've wanted to put this up here in my blog..but i've no computer to use lah. Neways, i made my FIRST cake ever and it's called 'tres leche' which means 'three milk' in Spanish. It's basically just white cake with 3 kinds of milk mixed together and poured over the cake that has holes made in it to absorb the milk. So, it's a wet kind of cake..it's sweet, but i personally like it very much.

I made it the other day on the 16th of June for my friend's birthday..and i think it's quite successful because even Thomas liked it (i think he has high expectations for food..somewhat, i think*haha*)

Mixing the cake mix at wee hours in the morning..

Baked cake...!!! Taadaaa!!! "Tres Leche cake"...

The next cake i wanna make is cheesecake. I dunno when i can do that with my crazy 40 hours work schedule now. But..i'm excited!! =))

chef wannabe?? ...pheng

New Arrival

2006-06-24T14:14:00.000-06:00

Hey ya'll!! I've just received my "NEW" laptop TODAY!! The old laptop that my brother gave me kinda 'died' some time ago..showing prominent signs of old age. So, now i have this Sony Vaio laptop to use. I bought it from Seul Kee (Thomas's roomate) for a reasonable price. It's about a year old, still running very welll. What a blessing..thank you Lord. I recognize that all good and perfect gift comes from our Father above..so yes, thank you Lord.

This will make communication easier for me. I've been a little out of touch from the cyber world. Now, i can write and reply emails easier and faster. woohooo..

thanks Dear for 'fixing' this pc for me. i appreciate it! =)

pheng..

Is there more??

2006-06-20T00:23:00.000-06:00

I've just been discouraged lately..very discouraged actually for the past month or so about youth ministry in my church here in America. It's been so difficult that i 'feel' ready to go home. Yet a part of me know that i'll be here for a little while longer for education purposes. After i'm done with school, i'll be more than exhilarated to go home. i am so ready to go back to ministry as i know it.

Youth ministry here has been discouraging in many ways. There is NO prayer involved in this ministry watsoever. There's no emphasis on that. There seem to be no dependence on God and the Holy Spirit. It feels like a machine..just running and running simply because it has to. There's not much or any place for God to come in. Events are planned to fill in the summer break. More fun oriented than God-oriented. After all, aren't we supposed to be the church and not an entertainment bazar?

There's no opportunity for youth to respond after service..rarely. There's no ministry like i know it..ministry-you know? Like laying hands, praying for people, hearing from God on their behalf and release words of knowledge/ prophecy/ affirmation/ encouragement/ rebuke even!!

VISION!! Without vision, my people cast off restrain. There is no vision for the youth! The leaders have no vision, no name for the youth group. The task of naming the youth group is casually tossed to the young people to create or cook up something 'cool'. What about God in the picture? What does God have in His heart for this group of youth here in Dallas, Texas? I'm sure it's our responsibilty as LEADERS to cast a vision and challenge people to catch it, and run with it. I'm sure there is a purpose to everything..how much more for this generation that's dying and LOST?

Yes, God wants me here in this youth group..for this season of time. BUT what am i doing? i don't preach, don't minister or pray for people..*hardly* so tell me, what am i here for? Lord, what am i here for? what is my role? this is so sad..it is horrible!! I don't know how long this will go on..but Lord please, do something..either with me or with the leadership..or show up Lord. How i miss being in your presence with people who hunger for more of you. Am i judgmental on the youth here..or the leadership? I don't want to..but it's so hard..

I'm sure there's more to this madness? Or is this all meaningless and vain as Soloman says it. At the end of the day, what's important is to fear you and keep Your commands right? And if i believe that You have CALLED and PLACED me here in this ministry and in this church, then i want to obey..but again, please Lord pleaseeee..do something. I NEED YOU, we need you, the leadership needs you, the YOUTH needs you, America needs You Lord!!

frustrated, disillusioned & discouraged.
*tears* take me home Lord..pheng

His Everlasting Love

2006-05-19T01:30:00.000-06:00

Ever wondered how God can love the person you see in the mirror each day?
Ever felt as though it's still such a long way to go untill you finally become a little more Christ-like?
Ever felt like God made a mistake creating you?
Ever felt like you've let God down so many times that you don't deserve another shot at it?

Those are just thoughts..not necessarily are all mine. Was looking at some of the pics in Tom's laptop..was reflecting a little. These thoughts hit me..that God REALLY, and i mean REALLY honestly think that He did a good job after creating each person on planet earth. He looks at a blob of mess birthed out of a womb and say that we are wonderfully and fearfully made. Even years down the road..when some of us are still a big blob of mess..He STILL thinks the same toward us. I don't know..it just hit me once again, that God really likes me..in spite of me, in spite of the terrible things i do, think or feel..He likes me, He LOVES me. He DOES!! that's crazyy! i can never ever comprehend His love, can i?

He loves me just the way i am, but He loves me enough not to leave me the way i am..

How great is His love lavished upon us. I love you Lord..

under construction..
beryl

Horrible

2006-04-24T19:18:00.000-06:00

Ever felt the deep guilt that accompanies your sin? Remember how much sorrow and regret it brought? Shame and disappointment with yourself? Yet knowing that God freely forgives and removes our transgressions ..as far as from the east to the west?

I felt so horrible today..I spent my whole weekend preparing a sermon for the youth. I had plans to do my readings for Pentateuch and New Testament class on Sunday after church. When Sunday came, i spent the afternoon at Matt and Diana's baby shower. I thoroughly enjoyed it..after which i spent my evening watching a movie with Tom, Matt and Diana..and talked the rest of the evening through. By the time i reached home, i was dead tired.

Is that sin? No i don't think so..but it's the same emotions i feel when i sin! I went up to Dr. Seif, my lecturer and asked if i can write a paper to make up for my late and UNDONE readings. He gave me a half-joking, half-accusing look and asked me why i didn't do my readings. He gave me grace..said that i could write a little something about 1 & 2 Timothy that i was supposed to read. I walked out that class with my head down. i felt so HORRIBLE!!! almost disgusted with myself. "too hard on myself?" i don't think so! i should have done it even if i have to sacrifice some sleep!!

oh well.."it's all good" like Sarah, my roomie would say. This leaves me with today's readings, Wednesday's readings, Friday's readings, and a paper to write. I should stop venting?? sigh...

I, Berylynn Pheng Pheng Yeoh WILL NEVER MISS MY READING ASSIGNMENTS EVER AGAIN!! .......... amen! =)

not giving up..
pheng

Acres Of Hope

2006-03-17T13:50:00.000-06:00

Acres Of Hope
Shane & Shane

He will allure her
He will pursue her
And call her out
To wilderness with flowers in His hand
She is responding
Beat up and hurting
Deserving death
But offerings of life are found instead

She will sing
She will sing
Oh, to You
She will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead her away
To valleys low
To acres of hope
Acres of hope

Here in the valley
Walk close beside me
Don't look back
For love is growing vineyards up ahead
You have called me master
And though you're in the dark here
Call me friend
And call me lover and marry me for good

She will sing
She will sing
Oh, to You
She will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead her away
To valleys low
To acres of hope
Acres of hope

How the story ends is
Love and tenderness in Him
Not safe, but worth it
So the valley? up ahead
Or the ones we live
We'll sing together
We'll sing together

We will sing
We will sing
Oh, to You
We will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead us away
To valleys low
To acres of hope
Acres of hope

Lord, sustain me in the valley. Give me ears to hear Your sweet tender voice and lead me in to acres of hope in this dry and weary land.?"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt. In that day, declares the LORD, you will call me 'my husband'; you will no longer call me 'my master. (Hosea 2:14-16)

"I am so passionate about you, that I shun you not when you stray away, but I will gently draw you close to Me again. I will do anything to win your heart..I have given you life in My Son. Walk with me, come hold my hand and walk with me. I am all that you will ever need...I LOVE YOU"-God

Spring Break

2006-03-10T16:11:00.000-06:00

I just finished my Mid Terms this week! Glad that it's now Spring Break for a week. I won't be working at all for this week..both at starbucks and at the library. so, i get to rest a little, and crank up my engine to do more readings again when the spring break ends.

also, i may be going to classes from 800-1200pm every weekday this week to just sit for Systematic Theology class by Dr. Seif (my all-time FAV teacher) i don't need the credits but i just want to learn MORE from him as much as i can. He's sooooooo brainy. i wonder how a brain can store so much knowledge and wisdom! God is GREAT!!

also..i'm excited because a very gorgeous good friend of mine will be here for the Spring break! in fact, he's arriving tonight!! who else??..MIMI!! also, i'm having Danielle over at my little 'house' for two nights while she and her dad (Mr. Chuck) checks out CFNI. and thennnnn....Pr. Mike will be visiting for a week too, arriving this Thursday!! hahahha...this is sooo cool! i'm excited..

..and a little tired too. i should go..have a good one~

precious one..beryl

Art

2006-02-23T00:13:00.000-06:00

The highest artist, in the eyes of the Jewish teachers of all generations, is not the greatest master in self-expression, but in self-control; he who fashions himself into a sanctuary. Such a view sounds strange in modern ears. One of the saddest phenomena of the age is the misuse of Art for the perversion of Youth. Art is divine and must be divinely used. When the Hebrew spirit prevails over the Greek, he strips it of its pagan sensuality, so that its beauty stands revealed untarnished by barbaric or ungodly association (Soloman J. Soloman)

If you're amazed at the paragraph above..don't be deceived! =) i wished i wrote that BUT i didn't. *grin* i was reading for my Pentateuch class and this is the Jewish commentary on the part when the artists were labouring on the building of the Tabernacle.

I really like this passage and absolutely LIKE how he worded it so beautifully and with so much truth! Hmmm...*think about it*

pheng..

Nooma

2006-02-21T15:57:00.000-06:00

I really should be taking a nap (haha..like it's a necessity) but i am fascinated by the short clips in this website. i watched one of it in my class today..titled "luggage". If you have time or any interest at all..go check it out! http://www.nooma.com/

pheng

Baby

2006-02-20T00:38:00.000-06:00

Hey..was thinking, I now have TWO darlings. So i should also show you all the other niece of mine..newly born baby on the 28th of Jan 2006! woohoooo!!!! Her name is Eloise Khaw Kai Ling. Felicia's name is Felicia Khaw Kai Xin. In this picture, I think she's just a week old. I wonder how much she's changed by now. Anyway..

Aaaaaahhhh.... =))

Hot Chicks

2006-02-20T00:28:00.000-06:00

Yo peeps! I was just looking at my niece-Felicia's pictures. And this is my favourite pic. Felicia is almost 1 year and a month old!! The other hot chick in the picture is my beloved, CRAZEEE sister, Emily..or lovingly known as "ah yee". Don't you think this is such a nice picture??!!

Disclaimer: This is an aunt-niece picture. Not her mummy laa...

Blessings..berylynn

Heart's Cry

2006-02-09T16:42:00.000-06:00

Though i'm as sheep prone to wonder,
This is my yearning as I ponder..

I will RUN, I won't CRAWL,
Until I hear the call,
I will STAND, I won't FALL,
Until I see the Lord!

berylynn

His Calling

2006-02-08T16:07:00.000-06:00

Just today itself..i sense God speaking to me about His calling. No specifics actually..but just his nudging and challenging my heart about calling, His calling on my life.

Before Moses spent his 40 years in the desert tending sheep, he already had such passion and burden in his heart to deliver his fellow Hebrew brethen from slavery..though his heart's desire didn't translate into actions quite right! And after 40 years, when God appeared to him and told him to lead His people out of Egypt, he REFUSED! after all that 'bargaining' with God, he SURRENDERED to God's call.

In those 40 years, i believe his passion to deliver his people didn't fade away. God uses that passion and desire in Moses and calls him to do just that! MANY times, God calls us to do something that we already have the heart and passion to. imagine trying to pick up a lump of clay with a huge magnet..it won't budge. but now, picture picking another lump of clay that has magnet inside!! Our passion in our hearts are there for a PURPOSE, HIS purposes!

Never allow people to limit you with their theology or unbelief that you will never achieve your dreams or your deepest heart's desire. Don't let their unbelief and ideals box you in. God is so much BIGGER. He has even BIGGER dreams than we have..MOST of the time. =)

I look back on my life and thank God that i did NOT give up on my dream of going abroad to further my tertiary education..both in theology and secular. more than just a few people have discouraged my seemingly impossible dream, FEW have cheered me on. i'm glad i hung on to His promise..because i know and i know it is from Him!

so where do i go from here? i've some more dreams in my heart which still seem BIG to me right now. but i'm gonna trust the Dream Giver..because He will bring it to pass in His time!

if you're reading this entry, my encouragement to you as God encouraged me, DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!! NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP!!!

Thank you Lord..i'm grateful..truly grateful that you put dreams in my heart. Help me steady the course as I run for you.

Your child..berylynn

Today

2006-01-05T20:23:00.000-06:00

Yesterday is history, today is an opportunity and tomorrow is the future. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow is blind and today is alive. Make the best out of it. Live life to the fullest by enjoying it because tomorrow will be a different day.

This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. (Psalm 118:24)

‘Yesterday is a cancelled cheque; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is ready cash – use it’ (Kay Lyons)

Today is not yesterday nor tomorrow. Today is your most precious possession. It is your only sure possession. The word ‘Today’ appears in the Scripture about 212 times. When it comes to decision-making, the Scripture always speaks of today and not tomorrow or the past.

Therefore God again set a certain day, calling it Today, when a long time later he spoke through David, as was said before: "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts." (Heb 4:7)

If you are not aligned to him, today is the day to do it. If you have strayed away from him, today is the day for you to re-align with him.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matt 6:34)

Today is a brand new day. Let no fears creep in today from yesterday’s failures, shame or self loathe because God’s grace has wiped them out and worked to turn them into something good.

Today is an important day. It arrives fresh, offering new hopes and new dreams. Today is your day. Make the best out of it. Don’t put off doing what you want to do today because you never know what tomorrow brings. It is living today and not tomorrow that counts. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

For yesterday is already a dreamAnd tomorrow is only a visionBut today, well lived,Makes every yesterdayA dream of happiness,And every tomorrow a vision of hopeLook well, therefore to this day!Such is a salutation of the dawn!

~ If you miss the sunrise I made for you today, never mind. I’ll make you another one tomorrow – God ~

Sorry

2005-11-30T01:00:00.000-06:00

If you've read my previous angry post, i want to apologize for my venting..actually, not so much of the venting but rather my heart and attitude behind it. i realised that in saying what i said in my previous blog, i am making myself look good or better than others. yes, i was VERY mad and i wrote what i wrote when i was still very angry. but that should NOT be an excuse..i should not even vent publicly in the first place. at least that's what i think. so..yeah. i'm sorry.

if all this doesn't make any sense at all. it's alright, i'm gonna delete my previous post anyway.

=) beryl

I LOVE YOU..

2005-11-13T23:00:00.002-06:00

Just an article my sis sent me. I'm glad she send me only good and meaningful articles! =)

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you."

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. "What's wrong, are you well?" she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. "I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you," I responded.
"Just the two of us?" She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting."

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said. "Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.
During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.
"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice, much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.

Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."

HOT!!

2005-11-07T01:39:00.000-06:00

My tummy feels HOT inside because I ate Indian food in Sam Thecka's house today. Hahahhahaaa..i'm so happy and blessed. Yummy...it's gonna take me a while to get over this..hahhahahaa..love it!

We may be going to an Indian restaturant to eat this Sat for a special occasion. muahahhahahahaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

INDIAN FOOD ROCKS!

beryl

Cemetry Marker

2005-11-05T23:40:00.000-06:00

i found this today..enjoy!!

Some time ago, a man was trying to trace his family origin. In the process of his research he visited several cemeteries collecting information from the markers. At one place he came across a monument with the following inscription:

Pause now stranger, as you pass by
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so soon you’ll be
Prepare yourself to follow me

Next to the marker, he noticed someone had placed a board with the following words:

To follow you
I’m not content
Until I know which way you went!

"follow me as i follow Christ"
Where are You heading after life?? ....lynn

Tired

2005-11-05T06:00:00.000-06:00

I'm soooo tired. It's 4am..and i'm still not done preparing sermon for Monday. my neck is sore..i'm sleepy. Oh God help me! If anyone's reading this..please pray for strength and revelation. Thank you so much..

zzzzz....beryl

Antartica!!

2005-10-25T02:18:00.000-06:00

since yesterday, the shower heater in our whole apartment complex decided to fail us. i couldn't wash my hair yesterday!! and today, the heater still didn't work!! and mind you, the water is ICE COLD and the temperature outside is 43F outside now, and bout 73F tomorrow morning. so earlier, when i came back from dinner..i decided to be a brave soul to take a shower!! within a minute standing under the shower, i was shaking like a drug addict in need of another dosage. it was crazeee COLD!!

later this evening, my roomies asked me if i took a shower. i told them i did with the cold water and they were appalled. the "are you out of your mind??" look was all over their faces, in fact they were so shocked they didn't speak until after a few seconds!! hahahahahaaa..they said i was so brave! :p to me, i just had no other options. it's almost like the Israelites crossing the Red Sea..even if they had no faith that the sea would part, they had the huge army coming after them as their 'faith encourager'. there simply isn't any choice left is there? hahahahaa, that's what i felt in my case too. i just had to bath or i wont even sleep on my clean bed.

pheww..i hope the heater works tomorrow! =) *fingers crossed*

beryl

Excellence

2005-10-25T01:55:00.000-06:00

These coming 2 weeks is gonna be busy for me. I've to prepare for Bible study for my youth group in church this Sunday on "forgiveness" and preach a sermon the following week for my 'Homiletics' finals. My mind is torn between the two..and few other things also.

I feel quite pressured right now. Church wise, i know that God has placed me in the right church and God's opening doors for me to serve. But i still have the feeling of.."me?? teach bible study?" yes..it's not like it's my first time. the thing is..it's like this ALL the time when i've to preach or worship lead or do announcement=basically standing in front of people even in a small group. i get these crazee butterflies all over in me. and i've been reflecting on myself..i think the reason why i am so pressured is that i feel inadequate, and i set such a high standard to achieve, call it excellence if you may..that i strive to rise above mediocrity so much that i strain my mind a lot. i went to work earlier with all these thoughts in my mind. was trying to count the money in the cash box but had to do it 3 times before i got the right amount. my mind was just not there! in fact, i was so nervous and overwhelmed that i really had this urge to vomit! honest!!

maybe i'm just being too hard on myself. still in saying that, i still believe in the spirit of excellence in all that i do. that's what drives me to do things well. one of my life 'motto' which i found out is the general 'motto' for all melancholies/C personality.."if you want to do something, do it well, or don't do it at all". there's just a deep satisfaction that comes when i accomplish something AND in doing it well. so yup, that's why..i'm overwhelmed right now.

but it's OKAY! because it's ALWAYS in times like this that i learn to depend more on my faithful Lord. and He always strengthens me and carries me through. He never fails me! so yess..i'll do well for Bible study and preaching by the grace of my God! Hallelujah!! wanna watch me preach? it's on 7th of Nov @345pm @Wayne Meyers Auditorium-CFNI

hahahhahahaha..this is crazy, scary and exciting!!

beryl

Deeply missed

2005-10-05T16:25:00.000-06:00

Frontliners..you're deeply missed!

Yearn

2005-10-05T00:30:00.000-06:00

Here's another song entry in my humble blog..

Holy design
This place in time
That I might seek and find my God

Lord I want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion over You
And only You
Lord I want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion over You
And only You
Lord, I want to yearn

Your joy is mine
Yet why am I fine
With all my singing and bringing grain
In light of Him

Oh You give life and breath
In You we live and move
That's why I sing

I really really like this song..because i can identify with the lyrics. Note that it says "i WANT to yearn for You" and NOT "i YEARN for You". Difference is..i may not yearn for God as much as i ought to right now, but there's a DESIRE to WANT to yearn for Him. and that i think..is so honest, instead of singing a bunch of songs that sound good but doesn't really reflect my heart inside. i want to go deeper..i want to grow stonger in You, i want to know You more, i want to seek You, i want MORE of You O God!!

to think about it, King David was like that. very honest with God..even in times when He felt that God has deserted Him, or when he has sinned against Him, David was very honest about His emotions with God. God delights in honesty, doesn't He?

hmm..what a song! =)
pheng..

Forgiveness

2005-09-26T01:25:00.000-06:00

My pastor preached on '3 Stages of Spiritual Cancer' today. it was about resentment, unforgiveness and bitterness. anyway..he said a sentence that really struck me. it's probably not new to most people, but it's a very liberating truth! hmm..

4 Steps to Freedom from Unforgiveness

1. Release-forgiveness DOESN'T ENDORSE what they did to you, it SIMPLY sets YOU FREE!

2. Forgive-it's not an option, it's a command

3. Forget- God brings the grace to forget the PAIN, not necessarily the experience

4. Action-caring for those who hurt us. Acts of kindness seals the process of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not an EVENT, it is a lifestyle. When you get hurt (which you will, unless you're DEAD!), choose to move in the opposite spirit, a spirit of humility and forgiveness.

oh yess..one more illustration that i heard elsewhere this week. unforgiveness is a prison that locks from the inside. no one can open the door except you. the choice is yours!! forgive and you will be forgiven!

this is just a small portion of the message..hope you're blessed!
beryl..

Cannot TAHAN!!!

2005-08-01T02:12:00.000-06:00

i have the CUTEST...and i am dead serious about it, baby niece in the whole world. i keep looking at her pictures over and over and over again. and she's just so CUTE!!!! her eyes, her cheeks, her hair...AHHHHHH...so cute!!

I MISS FELICIA!!!!!!!!!

Hungry

2005-08-01T01:13:00.000-06:00

It's 12.07am on Monday morning. .and i am HUNGRY!! honestly..though i hate to say this..i think i'm beginning to miss Malaysian food. and guess what i missed today? LAKSA!!! yummyy..

and i'm not just physically hungry, i am also spiritually hungry for God. i don't know how to describe..and inner search and yearning for God. i need Jesus...hmm, don't wanna elaborate more here. if i want to say more..i'll write it in my spiritual diary. not here..

i'm gonna go eat maggi mee..tom yam flavor! hahaa!!

alone yet never alone..
beryl

Unashamed Love

2005-07-17T14:44:00.000-06:00

Here's another song that i came across and like very much. I especially like the bridge part of the song..both the tune and lyrics. Really nice..

Unashamed Love-Ten Shekel Shirt
Album-Much

You're calling me to lay aside
The worries of my day
To quiet down my busy mind
And find a hiding place

Worthy You are worthy

I open my heart and let my
Spirit worship Yours
I open up my mouth and let a
Song of praise come forth

Worthy You are worthy

Of a childlike faith and
Of my honest praise
Of my unashamed love
Of a holy life and of my sacrifice
Of my unashamed love.

"precious one" .... beryl

alabaster jar

2005-06-13T09:10:00.000-06:00

this is a song written by the cfn praise team..that i think is very meaningful. the title is "alabaster jar" here goes..

This alabaster jar
Is all I have of worth
I break it at Your feet, Lord
It's less than You deserve
You're far more beautiful
More precious than the oil
The sum of my desires
And the fullness of my heart

Like You spilled Your blood
I spill my heart as an offering to my King

Here I am, take me
As an offering
Here I am, giving
Every heartbeat for Your glory
Take me

The time that I have left
Is all I have of worth
I lay it at Your feet, Lord
It's less than You deserve
And though I've little strength
And though my days are few
You gave Your life for me
So I will live my life for You

Worthy, worthy
You are worthy
Worthy is the Lord

hmm..do i need to say more?
lynn

from Dallas

2005-06-11T23:03:00.000-06:00

i think most of you already heard from me. i've reached dallas safely! it was a good trip i can say, had pain in the ears only when we landed in san fran and dallas. i'm staying with a couple in cfni campus, Mitch and Mizuyo. they're really nice and loving people. she even cooked me CURRY!! can you imagine a japanese cooking curry? well..actually she did it because she found out that i love it. so i'm grateful for such a blessing!

it's now saturday night here in dallas. and i'm so bored!! mitch and mizuyo went to waco (another state in dallas) and left me alone in the house for these 2 days. barn is elsewhere..i think still at his church, moving to another part of the building. well, i could go watch the tv but i dont really like it. partly cause some of the shows are kinda stupid. like bringing 2 people and let them fight and argue with each other in front of an audience and also broadcast to the whole nation perhaps. weird!! i find it so weird..and these are real life stories by the way. hmm..weird weird. i can go swimming..but i'm just so lazy. man!! i need help..can't wait till monday comes. then i can go and register, move into the hostel, repack and unpack my luggages, ask for a job in the cafeteria, see the children ministry director, student orientation, meet new friends..

well, at the same time..i'm trying not to miss home too much. BUT i do, miss mama..papa..ah yii, ah loo, ah keong, BABY..phang and soo ling..church friends, CRAZY friends..hahahhaaa and my high school friends as well. anyhow, they'll always remain in my heart and prayers. i just hope that when i come home, i'll still have a special place in their hearts. *sob sob*

ahh..i guess that's all from this side of planet earth for now. God bless!!

love..lynn