Monday, April 24, 2006

Horrible

Ever felt the deep guilt that accompanies your sin? Remember how much sorrow and regret it brought? Shame and disappointment with yourself? Yet knowing that God freely forgives and removes our transgressions ..as far as from the east to the west?

I felt so horrible today..I spent my whole weekend preparing a sermon for the youth. I had plans to do my readings for Pentateuch and New Testament class on Sunday after church. When Sunday came, i spent the afternoon at Matt and Diana's baby shower. I thoroughly enjoyed it..after which i spent my evening watching a movie with Tom, Matt and Diana..and talked the rest of the evening through. By the time i reached home, i was dead tired.

Is that sin? No i don't think so..but it's the same emotions i feel when i sin! I went up to Dr. Seif, my lecturer and asked if i can write a paper to make up for my late and UNDONE readings. He gave me a half-joking, half-accusing look and asked me why i didn't do my readings. He gave me grace..said that i could write a little something about 1 & 2 Timothy that i was supposed to read. I walked out that class with my head down. i felt so HORRIBLE!!! almost disgusted with myself. "too hard on myself?" i don't think so! i should have done it even if i have to sacrifice some sleep!!

oh well.."it's all good" like Sarah, my roomie would say. This leaves me with today's readings, Wednesday's readings, Friday's readings, and a paper to write. I should stop venting?? sigh...

I, Berylynn Pheng Pheng Yeoh WILL NEVER MISS MY READING ASSIGNMENTS EVER AGAIN!! .......... amen! =)

not giving up..
pheng