If you've read my previous angry post, i want to apologize for my venting..actually, not so much of the venting but rather my heart and attitude behind it. i realised that in saying what i said in my previous blog, i am making myself look good or better than others. yes, i was VERY mad and i wrote what i wrote when i was still very angry. but that should NOT be an excuse..i should not even vent publicly in the first place. at least that's what i think. so..yeah. i'm sorry.
if all this doesn't make any sense at all. it's alright, i'm gonna delete my previous post anyway.
=) beryl
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Sunday, November 13, 2005
I LOVE YOU..
Just an article my sis sent me. I'm glad she send me only good and meaningful articles! =)
After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you."
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. "What's wrong, are you well?" she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. "I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you," I responded.
"Just the two of us?" She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much."
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting."
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said. "Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.
During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.
"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice, much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.
Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."
After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you."
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. "What's wrong, are you well?" she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. "I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you," I responded.
"Just the two of us?" She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much."
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting."
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said. "Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.
During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.
"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice, much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.
Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."
Monday, November 07, 2005
HOT!!
My tummy feels HOT inside because I ate Indian food in Sam Thecka's house today. Hahahhahaaa..i'm so happy and blessed. Yummy...it's gonna take me a while to get over this..hahhahahaa..love it!
We may be going to an Indian restaturant to eat this Sat for a special occasion. muahahhahahahaaaa!!!!!!!!!!
INDIAN FOOD ROCKS!
beryl
We may be going to an Indian restaturant to eat this Sat for a special occasion. muahahhahahahaaaa!!!!!!!!!!
INDIAN FOOD ROCKS!
beryl
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Cemetry Marker
i found this today..enjoy!!
Some time ago, a man was trying to trace his family origin. In the process of his research he visited several cemeteries collecting information from the markers. At one place he came across a monument with the following inscription:
Pause now stranger, as you pass by
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so soon you’ll be
Prepare yourself to follow me
Next to the marker, he noticed someone had placed a board with the following words:
To follow you
I’m not content
Until I know which way you went!
"follow me as i follow Christ"
Where are You heading after life?? ....lynn
Some time ago, a man was trying to trace his family origin. In the process of his research he visited several cemeteries collecting information from the markers. At one place he came across a monument with the following inscription:
Pause now stranger, as you pass by
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so soon you’ll be
Prepare yourself to follow me
Next to the marker, he noticed someone had placed a board with the following words:
To follow you
I’m not content
Until I know which way you went!
"follow me as i follow Christ"
Where are You heading after life?? ....lynn
Tired
I'm soooo tired. It's 4am..and i'm still not done preparing sermon for Monday. my neck is sore..i'm sleepy. Oh God help me! If anyone's reading this..please pray for strength and revelation. Thank you so much..
zzzzz....beryl
zzzzz....beryl
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Antartica!!
since yesterday, the shower heater in our whole apartment complex decided to fail us. i couldn't wash my hair yesterday!! and today, the heater still didn't work!! and mind you, the water is ICE COLD and the temperature outside is 43F outside now, and bout 73F tomorrow morning. so earlier, when i came back from dinner..i decided to be a brave soul to take a shower!! within a minute standing under the shower, i was shaking like a drug addict in need of another dosage. it was crazeee COLD!!
later this evening, my roomies asked me if i took a shower. i told them i did with the cold water and they were appalled. the "are you out of your mind??" look was all over their faces, in fact they were so shocked they didn't speak until after a few seconds!! hahahahahaaa..they said i was so brave! :p to me, i just had no other options. it's almost like the Israelites crossing the Red Sea..even if they had no faith that the sea would part, they had the huge army coming after them as their 'faith encourager'. there simply isn't any choice left is there? hahahahaa, that's what i felt in my case too. i just had to bath or i wont even sleep on my clean bed.
pheww..i hope the heater works tomorrow! =) *fingers crossed*
beryl
later this evening, my roomies asked me if i took a shower. i told them i did with the cold water and they were appalled. the "are you out of your mind??" look was all over their faces, in fact they were so shocked they didn't speak until after a few seconds!! hahahahahaaa..they said i was so brave! :p to me, i just had no other options. it's almost like the Israelites crossing the Red Sea..even if they had no faith that the sea would part, they had the huge army coming after them as their 'faith encourager'. there simply isn't any choice left is there? hahahahaa, that's what i felt in my case too. i just had to bath or i wont even sleep on my clean bed.
pheww..i hope the heater works tomorrow! =) *fingers crossed*
beryl
Excellence
These coming 2 weeks is gonna be busy for me. I've to prepare for Bible study for my youth group in church this Sunday on "forgiveness" and preach a sermon the following week for my 'Homiletics' finals. My mind is torn between the two..and few other things also.
I feel quite pressured right now. Church wise, i know that God has placed me in the right church and God's opening doors for me to serve. But i still have the feeling of.."me?? teach bible study?" yes..it's not like it's my first time. the thing is..it's like this ALL the time when i've to preach or worship lead or do announcement=basically standing in front of people even in a small group. i get these crazee butterflies all over in me. and i've been reflecting on myself..i think the reason why i am so pressured is that i feel inadequate, and i set such a high standard to achieve, call it excellence if you may..that i strive to rise above mediocrity so much that i strain my mind a lot. i went to work earlier with all these thoughts in my mind. was trying to count the money in the cash box but had to do it 3 times before i got the right amount. my mind was just not there! in fact, i was so nervous and overwhelmed that i really had this urge to vomit! honest!!
maybe i'm just being too hard on myself. still in saying that, i still believe in the spirit of excellence in all that i do. that's what drives me to do things well. one of my life 'motto' which i found out is the general 'motto' for all melancholies/C personality.."if you want to do something, do it well, or don't do it at all". there's just a deep satisfaction that comes when i accomplish something AND in doing it well. so yup, that's why..i'm overwhelmed right now.
but it's OKAY! because it's ALWAYS in times like this that i learn to depend more on my faithful Lord. and He always strengthens me and carries me through. He never fails me! so yess..i'll do well for Bible study and preaching by the grace of my God! Hallelujah!! wanna watch me preach? it's on 7th of Nov @345pm @Wayne Meyers Auditorium-CFNI
hahahhahahaha..this is crazy, scary and exciting!!
beryl
I feel quite pressured right now. Church wise, i know that God has placed me in the right church and God's opening doors for me to serve. But i still have the feeling of.."me?? teach bible study?" yes..it's not like it's my first time. the thing is..it's like this ALL the time when i've to preach or worship lead or do announcement=basically standing in front of people even in a small group. i get these crazee butterflies all over in me. and i've been reflecting on myself..i think the reason why i am so pressured is that i feel inadequate, and i set such a high standard to achieve, call it excellence if you may..that i strive to rise above mediocrity so much that i strain my mind a lot. i went to work earlier with all these thoughts in my mind. was trying to count the money in the cash box but had to do it 3 times before i got the right amount. my mind was just not there! in fact, i was so nervous and overwhelmed that i really had this urge to vomit! honest!!
maybe i'm just being too hard on myself. still in saying that, i still believe in the spirit of excellence in all that i do. that's what drives me to do things well. one of my life 'motto' which i found out is the general 'motto' for all melancholies/C personality.."if you want to do something, do it well, or don't do it at all". there's just a deep satisfaction that comes when i accomplish something AND in doing it well. so yup, that's why..i'm overwhelmed right now.
but it's OKAY! because it's ALWAYS in times like this that i learn to depend more on my faithful Lord. and He always strengthens me and carries me through. He never fails me! so yess..i'll do well for Bible study and preaching by the grace of my God! Hallelujah!! wanna watch me preach? it's on 7th of Nov @345pm @Wayne Meyers Auditorium-CFNI
hahahhahahaha..this is crazy, scary and exciting!!
beryl
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Yearn
Here's another song entry in my humble blog..
Holy design
This place in time
That I might seek and find my God
Lord I want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion over You
And only You
Lord I want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion over You
And only You
Lord, I want to yearn
Your joy is mine
Yet why am I fine
With all my singing and bringing grain
In light of Him
Oh You give life and breath
In You we live and move
That's why I sing
I really really like this song..because i can identify with the lyrics. Note that it says "i WANT to yearn for You" and NOT "i YEARN for You". Difference is..i may not yearn for God as much as i ought to right now, but there's a DESIRE to WANT to yearn for Him. and that i think..is so honest, instead of singing a bunch of songs that sound good but doesn't really reflect my heart inside. i want to go deeper..i want to grow stonger in You, i want to know You more, i want to seek You, i want MORE of You O God!!
to think about it, King David was like that. very honest with God..even in times when He felt that God has deserted Him, or when he has sinned against Him, David was very honest about His emotions with God. God delights in honesty, doesn't He?
hmm..what a song! =)
pheng..
Holy design
This place in time
That I might seek and find my God
Lord I want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion over You
And only You
Lord I want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion over You
And only You
Lord, I want to yearn
Your joy is mine
Yet why am I fine
With all my singing and bringing grain
In light of Him
Oh You give life and breath
In You we live and move
That's why I sing
I really really like this song..because i can identify with the lyrics. Note that it says "i WANT to yearn for You" and NOT "i YEARN for You". Difference is..i may not yearn for God as much as i ought to right now, but there's a DESIRE to WANT to yearn for Him. and that i think..is so honest, instead of singing a bunch of songs that sound good but doesn't really reflect my heart inside. i want to go deeper..i want to grow stonger in You, i want to know You more, i want to seek You, i want MORE of You O God!!
to think about it, King David was like that. very honest with God..even in times when He felt that God has deserted Him, or when he has sinned against Him, David was very honest about His emotions with God. God delights in honesty, doesn't He?
hmm..what a song! =)
pheng..
Monday, September 26, 2005
Forgiveness
My pastor preached on '3 Stages of Spiritual Cancer' today. it was about resentment, unforgiveness and bitterness. anyway..he said a sentence that really struck me. it's probably not new to most people, but it's a very liberating truth! hmm..
4 Steps to Freedom from Unforgiveness
1. Release-forgiveness DOESN'T ENDORSE what they did to you, it SIMPLY sets YOU FREE!
2. Forgive-it's not an option, it's a command
3. Forget- God brings the grace to forget the PAIN, not necessarily the experience
4. Action-caring for those who hurt us. Acts of kindness seals the process of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not an EVENT, it is a lifestyle. When you get hurt (which you will, unless you're DEAD!), choose to move in the opposite spirit, a spirit of humility and forgiveness.
oh yess..one more illustration that i heard elsewhere this week. unforgiveness is a prison that locks from the inside. no one can open the door except you. the choice is yours!! forgive and you will be forgiven!
this is just a small portion of the message..hope you're blessed!
beryl..
4 Steps to Freedom from Unforgiveness
1. Release-forgiveness DOESN'T ENDORSE what they did to you, it SIMPLY sets YOU FREE!
2. Forgive-it's not an option, it's a command
3. Forget- God brings the grace to forget the PAIN, not necessarily the experience
4. Action-caring for those who hurt us. Acts of kindness seals the process of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not an EVENT, it is a lifestyle. When you get hurt (which you will, unless you're DEAD!), choose to move in the opposite spirit, a spirit of humility and forgiveness.
oh yess..one more illustration that i heard elsewhere this week. unforgiveness is a prison that locks from the inside. no one can open the door except you. the choice is yours!! forgive and you will be forgiven!
this is just a small portion of the message..hope you're blessed!
beryl..
Monday, August 01, 2005
Cannot TAHAN!!!
i have the CUTEST...and i am dead serious about it, baby niece in the whole world. i keep looking at her pictures over and over and over again. and she's just so CUTE!!!! her eyes, her cheeks, her hair...AHHHHHH...so cute!!
I MISS FELICIA!!!!!!!!!
I MISS FELICIA!!!!!!!!!
Hungry
It's 12.07am on Monday morning. .and i am HUNGRY!! honestly..though i hate to say this..i think i'm beginning to miss Malaysian food. and guess what i missed today? LAKSA!!! yummyy..
and i'm not just physically hungry, i am also spiritually hungry for God. i don't know how to describe..and inner search and yearning for God. i need Jesus...hmm, don't wanna elaborate more here. if i want to say more..i'll write it in my spiritual diary. not here..
i'm gonna go eat maggi mee..tom yam flavor! hahaa!!
alone yet never alone..
beryl
and i'm not just physically hungry, i am also spiritually hungry for God. i don't know how to describe..and inner search and yearning for God. i need Jesus...hmm, don't wanna elaborate more here. if i want to say more..i'll write it in my spiritual diary. not here..
i'm gonna go eat maggi mee..tom yam flavor! hahaa!!
alone yet never alone..
beryl
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Unashamed Love
Here's another song that i came across and like very much. I especially like the bridge part of the song..both the tune and lyrics. Really nice..
Unashamed Love-Ten Shekel Shirt
Album-Much
You're calling me to lay aside
The worries of my day
To quiet down my busy mind
And find a hiding place
Worthy You are worthy
I open my heart and let my
Spirit worship Yours
I open up my mouth and let a
Song of praise come forth
Worthy You are worthy
Of a childlike faith and
Of my honest praise
Of my unashamed love
Of a holy life and of my sacrifice
Of my unashamed love.
"precious one" .... beryl
Unashamed Love-Ten Shekel Shirt
Album-Much
You're calling me to lay aside
The worries of my day
To quiet down my busy mind
And find a hiding place
Worthy You are worthy
I open my heart and let my
Spirit worship Yours
I open up my mouth and let a
Song of praise come forth
Worthy You are worthy
Of a childlike faith and
Of my honest praise
Of my unashamed love
Of a holy life and of my sacrifice
Of my unashamed love.
"precious one" .... beryl
Monday, June 13, 2005
alabaster jar
this is a song written by the cfn praise team..that i think is very meaningful. the title is "alabaster jar" here goes..
This alabaster jar
Is all I have of worth
I break it at Your feet, Lord
It's less than You deserve
You're far more beautiful
More precious than the oil
The sum of my desires
And the fullness of my heart
Like You spilled Your blood
I spill my heart as an offering to my King
Here I am, take me
As an offering
Here I am, giving
Every heartbeat for Your glory
Take me
The time that I have left
Is all I have of worth
I lay it at Your feet, Lord
It's less than You deserve
And though I've little strength
And though my days are few
You gave Your life for me
So I will live my life for You
Worthy, worthy
You are worthy
Worthy is the Lord
hmm..do i need to say more?
lynn
This alabaster jar
Is all I have of worth
I break it at Your feet, Lord
It's less than You deserve
You're far more beautiful
More precious than the oil
The sum of my desires
And the fullness of my heart
Like You spilled Your blood
I spill my heart as an offering to my King
Here I am, take me
As an offering
Here I am, giving
Every heartbeat for Your glory
Take me
The time that I have left
Is all I have of worth
I lay it at Your feet, Lord
It's less than You deserve
And though I've little strength
And though my days are few
You gave Your life for me
So I will live my life for You
Worthy, worthy
You are worthy
Worthy is the Lord
hmm..do i need to say more?
lynn
Saturday, June 11, 2005
from Dallas
i think most of you already heard from me. i've reached dallas safely! it was a good trip i can say, had pain in the ears only when we landed in san fran and dallas. i'm staying with a couple in cfni campus, Mitch and Mizuyo. they're really nice and loving people. she even cooked me CURRY!! can you imagine a japanese cooking curry? well..actually she did it because she found out that i love it. so i'm grateful for such a blessing!
it's now saturday night here in dallas. and i'm so bored!! mitch and mizuyo went to waco (another state in dallas) and left me alone in the house for these 2 days. barn is elsewhere..i think still at his church, moving to another part of the building. well, i could go watch the tv but i dont really like it. partly cause some of the shows are kinda stupid. like bringing 2 people and let them fight and argue with each other in front of an audience and also broadcast to the whole nation perhaps. weird!! i find it so weird..and these are real life stories by the way. hmm..weird weird. i can go swimming..but i'm just so lazy. man!! i need help..can't wait till monday comes. then i can go and register, move into the hostel, repack and unpack my luggages, ask for a job in the cafeteria, see the children ministry director, student orientation, meet new friends..
well, at the same time..i'm trying not to miss home too much. BUT i do, miss mama..papa..ah yii, ah loo, ah keong, BABY..phang and soo ling..church friends, CRAZY friends..hahahhaaa and my high school friends as well. anyhow, they'll always remain in my heart and prayers. i just hope that when i come home, i'll still have a special place in their hearts. *sob sob*
ahh..i guess that's all from this side of planet earth for now. God bless!!
love..lynn
it's now saturday night here in dallas. and i'm so bored!! mitch and mizuyo went to waco (another state in dallas) and left me alone in the house for these 2 days. barn is elsewhere..i think still at his church, moving to another part of the building. well, i could go watch the tv but i dont really like it. partly cause some of the shows are kinda stupid. like bringing 2 people and let them fight and argue with each other in front of an audience and also broadcast to the whole nation perhaps. weird!! i find it so weird..and these are real life stories by the way. hmm..weird weird. i can go swimming..but i'm just so lazy. man!! i need help..can't wait till monday comes. then i can go and register, move into the hostel, repack and unpack my luggages, ask for a job in the cafeteria, see the children ministry director, student orientation, meet new friends..
well, at the same time..i'm trying not to miss home too much. BUT i do, miss mama..papa..ah yii, ah loo, ah keong, BABY..phang and soo ling..church friends, CRAZY friends..hahahhaaa and my high school friends as well. anyhow, they'll always remain in my heart and prayers. i just hope that when i come home, i'll still have a special place in their hearts. *sob sob*
ahh..i guess that's all from this side of planet earth for now. God bless!!
love..lynn
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