Excellence

These coming 2 weeks is gonna be busy for me. I've to prepare for Bible study for my youth group in church this Sunday on "forgiveness" and preach a sermon the following week for my 'Homiletics' finals. My mind is torn between the two..and few other things also.

I feel quite pressured right now. Church wise, i know that God has placed me in the right church and God's opening doors for me to serve. But i still have the feeling of.."me?? teach bible study?" yes..it's not like it's my first time. the thing is..it's like this ALL the time when i've to preach or worship lead or do announcement=basically standing in front of people even in a small group. i get these crazee butterflies all over in me. and i've been reflecting on myself..i think the reason why i am so pressured is that i feel inadequate, and i set such a high standard to achieve, call it excellence if you may..that i strive to rise above mediocrity so much that i strain my mind a lot. i went to work earlier with all these thoughts in my mind. was trying to count the money in the cash box but had to do it 3 times before i got the right amount. my mind was just not there! in fact, i was so nervous and overwhelmed that i really had this urge to vomit! honest!!

maybe i'm just being too hard on myself. still in saying that, i still believe in the spirit of excellence in all that i do. that's what drives me to do things well. one of my life 'motto' which i found out is the general 'motto' for all melancholies/C personality.."if you want to do something, do it well, or don't do it at all". there's just a deep satisfaction that comes when i accomplish something AND in doing it well. so yup, that's why..i'm overwhelmed right now.

but it's OKAY! because it's ALWAYS in times like this that i learn to depend more on my faithful Lord. and He always strengthens me and carries me through. He never fails me! so yess..i'll do well for Bible study and preaching by the grace of my God! Hallelujah!! wanna watch me preach? it's on 7th of Nov @345pm @Wayne Meyers Auditorium-CFNI

hahahhahahaha..this is crazy, scary and exciting!!

beryl