since yesterday, the shower heater in our whole apartment complex decided to fail us. i couldn't wash my hair yesterday!! and today, the heater still didn't work!! and mind you, the water is ICE COLD and the temperature outside is 43F outside now, and bout 73F tomorrow morning. so earlier, when i came back from dinner..i decided to be a brave soul to take a shower!! within a minute standing under the shower, i was shaking like a drug addict in need of another dosage. it was crazeee COLD!!
later this evening, my roomies asked me if i took a shower. i told them i did with the cold water and they were appalled. the "are you out of your mind??" look was all over their faces, in fact they were so shocked they didn't speak until after a few seconds!! hahahahahaaa..they said i was so brave! :p to me, i just had no other options. it's almost like the Israelites crossing the Red Sea..even if they had no faith that the sea would part, they had the huge army coming after them as their 'faith encourager'. there simply isn't any choice left is there? hahahahaa, that's what i felt in my case too. i just had to bath or i wont even sleep on my clean bed.
pheww..i hope the heater works tomorrow! =) *fingers crossed*
beryl
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Excellence
These coming 2 weeks is gonna be busy for me. I've to prepare for Bible study for my youth group in church this Sunday on "forgiveness" and preach a sermon the following week for my 'Homiletics' finals. My mind is torn between the two..and few other things also.
I feel quite pressured right now. Church wise, i know that God has placed me in the right church and God's opening doors for me to serve. But i still have the feeling of.."me?? teach bible study?" yes..it's not like it's my first time. the thing is..it's like this ALL the time when i've to preach or worship lead or do announcement=basically standing in front of people even in a small group. i get these crazee butterflies all over in me. and i've been reflecting on myself..i think the reason why i am so pressured is that i feel inadequate, and i set such a high standard to achieve, call it excellence if you may..that i strive to rise above mediocrity so much that i strain my mind a lot. i went to work earlier with all these thoughts in my mind. was trying to count the money in the cash box but had to do it 3 times before i got the right amount. my mind was just not there! in fact, i was so nervous and overwhelmed that i really had this urge to vomit! honest!!
maybe i'm just being too hard on myself. still in saying that, i still believe in the spirit of excellence in all that i do. that's what drives me to do things well. one of my life 'motto' which i found out is the general 'motto' for all melancholies/C personality.."if you want to do something, do it well, or don't do it at all". there's just a deep satisfaction that comes when i accomplish something AND in doing it well. so yup, that's why..i'm overwhelmed right now.
but it's OKAY! because it's ALWAYS in times like this that i learn to depend more on my faithful Lord. and He always strengthens me and carries me through. He never fails me! so yess..i'll do well for Bible study and preaching by the grace of my God! Hallelujah!! wanna watch me preach? it's on 7th of Nov @345pm @Wayne Meyers Auditorium-CFNI
hahahhahahaha..this is crazy, scary and exciting!!
beryl
I feel quite pressured right now. Church wise, i know that God has placed me in the right church and God's opening doors for me to serve. But i still have the feeling of.."me?? teach bible study?" yes..it's not like it's my first time. the thing is..it's like this ALL the time when i've to preach or worship lead or do announcement=basically standing in front of people even in a small group. i get these crazee butterflies all over in me. and i've been reflecting on myself..i think the reason why i am so pressured is that i feel inadequate, and i set such a high standard to achieve, call it excellence if you may..that i strive to rise above mediocrity so much that i strain my mind a lot. i went to work earlier with all these thoughts in my mind. was trying to count the money in the cash box but had to do it 3 times before i got the right amount. my mind was just not there! in fact, i was so nervous and overwhelmed that i really had this urge to vomit! honest!!
maybe i'm just being too hard on myself. still in saying that, i still believe in the spirit of excellence in all that i do. that's what drives me to do things well. one of my life 'motto' which i found out is the general 'motto' for all melancholies/C personality.."if you want to do something, do it well, or don't do it at all". there's just a deep satisfaction that comes when i accomplish something AND in doing it well. so yup, that's why..i'm overwhelmed right now.
but it's OKAY! because it's ALWAYS in times like this that i learn to depend more on my faithful Lord. and He always strengthens me and carries me through. He never fails me! so yess..i'll do well for Bible study and preaching by the grace of my God! Hallelujah!! wanna watch me preach? it's on 7th of Nov @345pm @Wayne Meyers Auditorium-CFNI
hahahhahahaha..this is crazy, scary and exciting!!
beryl
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Yearn
Here's another song entry in my humble blog..
Holy design
This place in time
That I might seek and find my God
Lord I want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion over You
And only You
Lord I want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion over You
And only You
Lord, I want to yearn
Your joy is mine
Yet why am I fine
With all my singing and bringing grain
In light of Him
Oh You give life and breath
In You we live and move
That's why I sing
I really really like this song..because i can identify with the lyrics. Note that it says "i WANT to yearn for You" and NOT "i YEARN for You". Difference is..i may not yearn for God as much as i ought to right now, but there's a DESIRE to WANT to yearn for Him. and that i think..is so honest, instead of singing a bunch of songs that sound good but doesn't really reflect my heart inside. i want to go deeper..i want to grow stonger in You, i want to know You more, i want to seek You, i want MORE of You O God!!
to think about it, King David was like that. very honest with God..even in times when He felt that God has deserted Him, or when he has sinned against Him, David was very honest about His emotions with God. God delights in honesty, doesn't He?
hmm..what a song! =)
pheng..
Holy design
This place in time
That I might seek and find my God
Lord I want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion over You
And only You
Lord I want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion over You
And only You
Lord, I want to yearn
Your joy is mine
Yet why am I fine
With all my singing and bringing grain
In light of Him
Oh You give life and breath
In You we live and move
That's why I sing
I really really like this song..because i can identify with the lyrics. Note that it says "i WANT to yearn for You" and NOT "i YEARN for You". Difference is..i may not yearn for God as much as i ought to right now, but there's a DESIRE to WANT to yearn for Him. and that i think..is so honest, instead of singing a bunch of songs that sound good but doesn't really reflect my heart inside. i want to go deeper..i want to grow stonger in You, i want to know You more, i want to seek You, i want MORE of You O God!!
to think about it, King David was like that. very honest with God..even in times when He felt that God has deserted Him, or when he has sinned against Him, David was very honest about His emotions with God. God delights in honesty, doesn't He?
hmm..what a song! =)
pheng..
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