Is there more??

I've just been discouraged lately..very discouraged actually for the past month or so about youth ministry in my church here in America. It's been so difficult that i 'feel' ready to go home. Yet a part of me know that i'll be here for a little while longer for education purposes. After i'm done with school, i'll be more than exhilarated to go home. i am so ready to go back to ministry as i know it.

Youth ministry here has been discouraging in many ways. There is NO prayer involved in this ministry watsoever. There's no emphasis on that. There seem to be no dependence on God and the Holy Spirit. It feels like a machine..just running and running simply because it has to. There's not much or any place for God to come in. Events are planned to fill in the summer break. More fun oriented than God-oriented. After all, aren't we supposed to be the church and not an entertainment bazar?

There's no opportunity for youth to respond after service..rarely. There's no ministry like i know it..ministry-you know? Like laying hands, praying for people, hearing from God on their behalf and release words of knowledge/ prophecy/ affirmation/ encouragement/ rebuke even!!

VISION!! Without vision, my people cast off restrain. There is no vision for the youth! The leaders have no vision, no name for the youth group. The task of naming the youth group is casually tossed to the young people to create or cook up something 'cool'. What about God in the picture? What does God have in His heart for this group of youth here in Dallas, Texas? I'm sure it's our responsibilty as LEADERS to cast a vision and challenge people to catch it, and run with it. I'm sure there is a purpose to everything..how much more for this generation that's dying and LOST?

Yes, God wants me here in this youth group..for this season of time. BUT what am i doing? i don't preach, don't minister or pray for people..*hardly* so tell me, what am i here for? Lord, what am i here for? what is my role? this is so sad..it is horrible!! I don't know how long this will go on..but Lord please, do something..either with me or with the leadership..or show up Lord. How i miss being in your presence with people who hunger for more of you. Am i judgmental on the youth here..or the leadership? I don't want to..but it's so hard..

I'm sure there's more to this madness? Or is this all meaningless and vain as Soloman says it. At the end of the day, what's important is to fear you and keep Your commands right? And if i believe that You have CALLED and PLACED me here in this ministry and in this church, then i want to obey..but again, please Lord pleaseeee..do something. I NEED YOU, we need you, the leadership needs you, the YOUTH needs you, America needs You Lord!!

frustrated, disillusioned & discouraged.
*tears* take me home Lord..pheng