Countdown

Muahahahhahahaaaa....the countdown begins. 11 days, 10, 9, 8, 7....i'm going home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pics

Mum and Ah Yee..


Chee Phang and Ah Loo..

Family..

Grandparents..

Sweetheart..

Missing home..

God??

Today, i'm reminded that God's standards are so high yet, He never lowers His standards just because we cannot possibly meet them in our inadequate attempt to! BUT, i am also reminded and comforted that while His standards are high, He also abounds in His multi-faceted character...

His love is deep
His love is wide
His love is strong and..
His mercies never dry!

His goodness sufficient
His grip of grace tight
His Gift is offered
So men should never die!

what else can we ask for? what else can we demand??
God in the flesh..Immanuel has come! ~If God is for us, who can be against us??~

in awe..beryl

Girls Girls..

Ever strong and charming Felicia...

Oh..playful and beloved Eloise..

Loved and missed..

Worth It All-Rita Springer

I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways

Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You

It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this

You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this

this songs is for me..and also for a dear dear friend-Michel..we miss you.

Thankful

As i begin this new year with great and many challenges ahead..i want to pause and be thankful for the precious blessings that God Almighty has lavished upon me..

i thank God for..

my salvation..
my family and dear ones..
my friends both near and far..
my church here and at home..
the opportunity to study abroad here in CFNI and beyond..
His providence..
His faithfulness..
His steadfastness..
His belief in me..

without all the above, i wouldn't be who i am today, i wouldn't be where i am today. thank you Lord for life..and life abundantly! keep me in your path Lord..

~pheng

heart laid bare

When life is slipping away from between my fingers..i turn to You.

When life seem impossible..i trust in You.

When i do not understand..i hope in You.

Words are not enough, Lord you know my heart, You know my cry...You know my needs. If You do not come through, there's no more hope. Do only what You can do Lord..breathe life! Bring life!!

p/s: i'm praying and believing for life for 2 people: Michel's dad..and someone else very close to my heart. Please pray for a life of an embrio who has no heartbeat and is believed to have no hope of survival. What is impossible to man, is possible to our God..

Only believe..

???

God created man and woman in His image. When man sinned in the garden of Eden, God killed an animal to cloth Adam and Eve with the animal skin. God's glory that covered man left because of their downfall and their sin. If covering up was not essential, why did God take all the trouble to perform the first 'murder'?? ...just to make a fashion statement??

We have been robbed from our identity in God, from His design. Women are told that the more skin you reveal, the better! It is considered as sexy and appealing. The world thinks it's great, and the men thinks it's phenomenal!! Of course, that is a very sweeping statement..i know. I apologize and honor you men out there who truly honor a woman as God's precious daughter. BUT generally, that's what the world has become.

Pornography is so prevalent today. Everything or maybe MOST of what you hear in secular songs today are about love and sex. Everything you see in most movies, if not all..has sexual scenes, suggestive scenes or conversations. Hollywood and most of all the advertising companies uses sex as a tool to sell their product. What has a car got to do with girls wearing skimpy clothings? What has promoting a body shampoo or even shampoo got to do with women without shirts?? What has selling music got to do with posing with a bikini for the front CD cover? What happened??? How did we end up like this??? *&#^$*&@#^

Satan has robbed us!! God has designed sex to be beautiful and fulfilling under the covenant of marriage. It will be a curse if done anywhere or anytime outside of a marriage covenant. I say curse because it really brings nothing good but sorrow, self-hatred, purposelessness, hopelessness..and the list goes on and on. Marriage is a symbol of God's covenant love to us. Marriage is the ultimate relationship that will mirror God's relationship and covenant to His people. That's why the devil tries so hard to twist and pervert what God has design to be beautiful!!

I want to encourage and challenge you ladies out there, to dress in a way that honors God. and to wait until after marriage for sexual fulfillment. To you godly men out there, continue to pursue holiness and consecration unto the Lord in your thoughts and the things you see. God knows it's hard in this highly sexualised society..BUT He will give you the strength! No temptation is too great that you cannot overcome! He will honor you as you choose to honor and love Him..as you honor and love His precious daughters...

There is hope in this hopeless world..for those who hope in the Lord shall not be put to shame!! Hallelujah!!!!!~

Faith?

Wether we realise it or not, we live by faith everyday..

When you sleep at night, you believe that your lungs will not fail you in inhaling and exhaling O2. You believe that you will wake up the next morning alive and well.

When you turn on the hot water tap, you believe that it will turn hot even when in reality, it is cold. You continue to allow the cold water to run because you believe that it will turn hot in a few moments.

When you get into your car, you believe that the engine will start to take you where you want to go.

When you sit on a chair, you believe that it will support your weight.

When you eat, you believe that the food is clean and that you won't get diarrhoea!

That is FAITH!! If we use faith everyday..then why in the world is it sometimes so hard for us to trust in the unfailing God. His love never fails..heaven and earth will pass away, but His Word will remain. His Word is Jesus and Jesus is Love. Neither one will fail...

Jesus will NOT fail..
His Word will NOT fail..
and His Love will NEVER fail!

"Easier said than done!" ..but God knows you try. He will help your unbelief if only you would ask. "So go ahead! Jump off the cliff of self-sufficiency. Leap out of legalism. Walk off the pier of guilt and condemnation. That's the only way you'll land in the strong arms of the father who loves you..the Father who catches you-every time-in the grip of His grace." - Max Lucado

........... berylynn

I Will Be Here

I Will Be Here
(Steven Curtis Chapman)

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
and the sun does not appear
I will be here
If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear
'Cause I will be here

I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winning, losing and trying
We'll be together
I will be here

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I will be here
Just as sure as seasons were made for change
Our lifetimes were made for these years
So I will be here

I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I will be here
Oh, I will be here.

Snowing!!`

Fa la la la laaa la la la laaaa...

It's snowing NOW!!! Snow..snow..woohoo!! I enjoyed walking in the snow and watch how the snow flakes fall on my black coat. There is snow on the cars, on the roof..everywhere!! I was on my way back from lunch at the cafeteria and i picked up some snow in my hands, took it into my apartment..and threw it at my roomie-Sarah!! Ahahahahahaaa...that was so FUN! Besides the fact that she treatened to throw snow at me when i'm sleeping!

Anyways..just wanted to share my excitement with you guys ler..enjoy the sun in Penang for me! and i'll enjoy the snow for you~ i wanna try to take some pictures..and put it up here..SOON!

*chad's nuts roasting on the fire....*

=))

Please Pray

please pray for me..i've been down with severe cough and flu for a week now. i struggle to fall asleep.. please pray for healing.

thank you..

Racial Discrimination??

List of racial discriminations in Malaysia

List of racial discriminations in Malaysia, practiced by government as wellas government agencies. This list is an open secret. Best verified by government itself because it got the statistics. This list is not in the order of importance, that means the first one on the list is not the most important and the last one on the list does not mean least important. This list is a common knowledge to a lot of Malaysians, especially those non-malays (Chinese, Ibans, Kadazans, Orang Asli, Indians, etc) who were being racially discriminated. Figures in this list are estimates only and please take it as a guide only. Government of Malaysia has the most correct figures. Is government of Malaysia too ashamed to publish their racist acts by publishing racial statistics?

This list cover a period of about 48 years since independence (1957). List of racial discriminations (Malaysia):

(1) Out of all the 5 major banks, only one bank is multi-racial, the rest are controlled by Malays

(2) 99% of Petronas directors are malays

(3) 3% of Petronas employees are Chinese

(4) 99% of 2000 Petronas gasoline stations are owned by malays

(5) 100% all contractors working under Petronas projects must be bumis status

(6) 0% of non-malays staffs is legally required in malay companies. But there must be 30% malays staffs in Chinese companies.

(7) 5% of all new intake for government police, nurses, army, is non-malays.

(8) 2% is the present Chinese staff in Royal Malaysian Air Force (RMAF), drop from 40% in 1960

(9) 2% is the percentage of non-malays government servants in Putrajaya. But malays make up 98%

(10) 7% is the percentage of Chinese government servants in the whole government (in 2004), drop from 30% in 1960

(11) 95% of government contracts are given to malays

(12) 100% all business licensees are controlled by malay government e.g. taxi permits, Approved permits, etc

(13) 80% of the Chinese rice millers in Kedah had to be sold to malay controlled Bernas in 1980s. Otherwise, life is make difficult for Chinese rice millers

(14) 100 big companies set up, owned and managed by Chinese Malaysians weretaken over by government, and later managed by malays since 1970s e.g. UTC, UMBC, MISC, etc

(15) At least 10 Chinese owned bus companies (throughout Malaysia, throughout 40 years) had to be sold to MARA or other malay transport companies due to rejection by malay authority to Chinese application for bus routes and rejection for their application for new buses

(16) 2 Chinese taxi drivers were barred from driving in Johor Larkin bus station. There are about 30 taxi drivers and 3 are Chinese in October 2004. Spoiling taxi club properties was the reason given

(17) 0 non-malays are allowed to get shop lots in the new Muar bus station (November 2004)

(18) 8000 billions ringgit is the total amount the government channeled to malays pockets through ASB, ASN, MARA, privatisation of government agencies, Tabung Haji etc, through NEP over 34 years period

(19) 48 Chinese primary schools closed down since 1968 - 2000

(20) 144 Indian primary schools closed down since 1968 - 2000

(21) 2637 malay primary schools built since 1968 - 2000

(22) 2.5% is government budget for Chinese primary schools. Indian schools got only 1%, malay schools got 96.5%

(23) While a Chinese parent with RM1000 salary (monthly) cannot get school-text-book-loan, a malay parent with RM2000 salary is eligible

(24) 10 all public universities vice chancellors are malays

(25) 5% - the government universities lecturers of non-malay origins had been reduced from about 70% in 1965 to only 5% in 2004

(26) Only 5% is given to non-malays for government scholarships over 40 years

(27) 0 Chinese or Indians were sent to Japan and Korea under "Look East Policy"

(28) 128 STPM Chinese top students could not get into the course that they aspired i.e. Medicine (in 2004)

(29) 10% place for non-bumi students for MARA science schools beginning from year 2003, but only 7% are filled. Before that it was 100% malays

(30) 50 cases whereby Chinese and Indian Malaysians, are beaten up in the National Service program in 2003

(31) 25% is Malaysian Chinese population in 2004, drop from 45% in 1957

(32) 7% is the present Malaysian Indians population (2004), a drop from 12% in 1957

(33) 2 millions Chinese Malaysians had emigrated to overseas since 40 years ago

(34) 0.5 million Indians Malaysians had emigrated to overseas

(35) 3 millions Indonesians had migrated into Malaysia and became Malaysian citizens with bumis status.

(36) 600000 are the Chinese and Indians Malaysians with red IC and were rejected repeatedly when applying for citizenship for 40 years. Perhaps 60% of them had already passed away due to old age. This shows racism of how easily Indonesians got their citizenships compare with the Chinese and Indians

(37) 5% - 15% discount for a malay to buy a house, regardless whether the malay is rich or poor

(38) 2% is what Chinese new villages get compare with 98% of what malays villages got for rural development budget

(39) 50 road names (at least) had been change from Chinese names to other names

(40) 1 Dewan Gan Boon Leong (in Malacca) was altered to other name (e.g.Dewan Serbaguna or sort) when it was being officially used for a few days. Government try to shun Chinese names. This racism happened in around year 2000 or sort

(41) 0 temples/churches were built for each housing estate. But every housing estate got at least one mosque/surau built

(42) 3000 mosques/surau were built in all housing estates throughout Malaysia since 1970. No temples, no churches are required to be built in housing estates

(43) 1 Catholic church in Shah Alam took 20 years to apply to be constructed. But told by malay authority that it must look like a factory and not look like a church. Still not yet approved in 2004

(44) 1 publishing of Bible in Iban language banned (in 2002)

(45) 0 of the government TV stations (RTM1, RTM2, TV3) are directors of non-malays origin

(46) 30 government produced TV dramas and films always showed that the bad guys had Chinese face, and the good guys had malay face. You can check it out since 1970s. Recent years, this tendency becomes less

(47) 10 times, at least, malays (especially Umno) had threatened to massacre the Chinese Malaysians using May 13 since 1969

(48) 20 constituencies won by DAP would not get funds from the government to develop. Or these Chinese majority constituencies would be the last to bedeveloped

(49) 100 constituencies (parliaments and states) had been racistly re-delineated so Chinese voters were diluted that Chinese candidates, particularly DAP candidates lost in election since 1970s

(50) Only 3 out of 12 human rights items are ratified by Malaysia government since 1960

(51) 0 elimination of, all forms of racial discrimination (UN Human Rights) is not ratified by Malaysia government since 1960s

(52) 20 reported cases whereby malay ambulance attendance treated Chinese patients inhumanely, and malay government hospital staffs purposely delay attending to Chinese patients in 2003. Unreported cases may be 200

(53) 50 cases each year whereby Chinese, especially Chinese youths being beaten up by malay youths in public places. We may check at police reports provided the police took the report, otherwise there will be no record

(54) 20 cases every year whereby Chinese drivers who accidentally knocked down malays were seriously assaulted or killed by malays

(55) 12% is what ASB/ASN got per annum while banks fixed deposit is only about 3.5% per annum


Is it reliable information? I don't know. So.....how do we respond to this??

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

More Babies

More pictures of babies...lalalaaa

Kai Ling, Mummy and Kai Xin..

Eloise...baby.... =)

Felicia..aawww...

lalaalaaa....pheng

Prayer Needs

Please pray for Thomas. He needs a financial breaktrough to be able to register for school on Monday..

Please pray for me..for strength. with my work schedule, and my assignments..and ministry.

Thank you..

My response..

We're all alarmed by the accusations against Pr. Ted Haggard. With all the buzz and cameras all over this nation, different people with different comments and opinions..it's crazy! I do not personally know this Pr, and haven't had the priviledge to learn from his teachings/ books whatsoever. I do not know the full story and i will never know the outcome of all this. The effects on the coming election, the church, his own family and the world. Yes, this news grieved me tremendously, but as i was pondering about this..God reminded me of this while i was in the bathroom! =P ...that "he who has no sin, let him throw the first stone"

Yup! That one sentence says it all. We have all sinned, we have all fallen short of the glory of God. Yes, there are consequences of sin..but who are we to judge when there is only One Judge. Where is the grace, mercy and love? It's not a time for the church to turn their back against each other or against Pr. Ted Haggard. It is a time to arise and be strong. Continue to run this race..and FINISH strong!! The book of John (in the Bible) says that it is by our love for each other that others will see and know that we are Christ's disciple. In this dark situation, let our love shine even brighter..let His love shine!! We are more than conquerors. We are VICTORS! It is our faith that overcomes the world!!

i love you JESUS!

Babies

Sigh..what can i say? I miss the girls sooo much! Look how much they've grown! It makes me cry everytime i look at their new pics. I missed the first baby step, the first tooth, the first spoken word, the first chuckle, the first laugh... =( Lord, please bless them lotsss and kiss them lots while i'm awayyyyyy...

This is Eloise-10 months old..


This is Felicia..1 year and 10 months old..


ahhh...*melt* so sweeeeettt!

tired..

i'm tired..

my soul...heart, will, mind, emotion.

today..

today it hit me hard..that..

- i am lost without God

- Thomas loves me dearly

.................

Morality-Grey, Black or White?

I just took my mid-term test today. I studied so hard, slept at 2am..and the result? I did so bad..in light of the effort i put in!! I was so disappointed with myself. It was so hard for me to believe that i did so bad. and i came out of the IB and i cried..tears came, cause i was so disappointed with myself.

Not only that, something else fuelled my dissatisfaction. People who took this course last year were allowed to keep their test papers. And the teacher used the SAME test paper this year. What happened was the students last year passed those test questions out to their friends and they just studied or memorized that because they know that it's gonna be the same test this time..verbatim!

That made me so mad! Is that right? Where's the conscience? The morality behind this? Is that not called cheating? Then why did the teacher allowed us to keep the test papers and give the same test again year after year. Why do bible college students choose the easy way out? the cheating way? Or is that deemed alright to help your friends that way? That's CHEATING!, right?!

Then why do i study so hard and get bad results because the test is tricky..while others just get away by memorizing the test paper? Where's the justice???

As for me, i feel better now. I think i just want to be so excellent that i want to be perfect. If i fail to get an 'A' for this paper..it's gonna be the first 'B' i get so far. It will break my heart..but i have to remind myself that my self-worth is not in how good i do in a paper. There are eternal values that are more important than just getting an 'A' in a paper. Yes, i believe in excellence with all my heart, but excellence is not perfection.

I hate to say this, but i just have to tell myself that..maybe i'm just not as smart as i think i am. I can be confident in myself..but my ultimate confidence should come from the Lord. I think i am better than average..sometimes i tell myself that i am smart. but hey..maybe..just maybe, i'm not that brilliant. i don't want to blame it on the tricky questions..cause i know i could have done better.

But it's okay now..it's all good. I've decided to put it all behind now. I will do better next time. I believe, i hope, and i'll do my best to make it up in my finals to score an 'A' for this paper. IF i don't, i'll have to be okay with it. It's not the end of the world!!

Dear..thanks for encouraging me..helping me cheer up. Sorry i almost blew up on you. =) i love you..

To all who are reading, i'm alright now. Don't worry, i didn't write this to get any consolation, i just need to express my thoughts in words. Thanks for *listening*

God..help me put You first in my heart, not studies..

...pheng